I love being queer and I love that I love being queer and I looooove seeing other queer/gay people being loving their queerness/ gayness
I love being a lesbian, not a huge fan of being trans but it’s better than the alternative (death!) so I’ll take it.
This is something I've long had on my mind but as an anxious/nervous person never really spoke about. Even now I'm worried about wording this poorly. Basically, never really sure where I fit in and whether I can include myself here. I dunno. I sort of have never settled on what I identify with--most recently I've been more comfortable with ace/panromantic. I dunno, just rambling.
I feel you because where being ace falls on the spectrum is complicated and my not exactly being gender conforming can just be because it's all bullshit but I also know it's just in my head and others will be accepting
ME TOO IT'S SO FUN!!! I couldn't imagine not being a part of that community and honestly I'm so happy to finallllly feel like I am *in* it. Even though my queerness wasn't invalidated by dating a man, a massive part of myself was invalidated and now it's like everything makes sense. Just let those emotions happen. These things reveal themselves in time but don't judge yourself for any of it. we love you and accept you for everything you are and aren't Ian
Yeah, and some people can be quite gatekeeping, so I've never felt comfortable outwardly calling myself queer or falling within the LGBT+ umbrella due to just being uncertain how others in the community would handle it. this is really what I meant with my post and I guess I wasn't clear. It's less how I personally view the labels, which can change and whatnot, and how others handle it.
These things take time to sort through!! You’re more than welcome to come here to sort it out, in fact I’d love to see more activity in this thread. I first came out as trans in AP’s LGBTQ thread and had a particularly lovely poster help me sort thru those feelings and we’re still friends to this day! That’s the type of stuff I miss a lil bit about AP, it felt more like a community than this site does at times.
Come hang out with us in A1 we're way cooler than the rest of the site and tbh I probably wouldn't stay on here as much if it wasn't for them
tbh, I don’t think I could keep up with that thread (also there’s a couple users I know frequent it who bug me so there’s that too)
If this thread is active again, I imagine this is the right one to post these thoughts: I feel like I'm suffocating. I do nothing besides go to work and listen to music / surf the internet / having all sorts of fantasies about being out with an accepting inner circle but I can't take the next step and it's frustrating. I've been thinking of going on a small vacation on impulse (like I did for the Charli shows lol), or like a weekend on Christmas break to go in a queer club or something. I'm planning to buy more feminine clothes. I just want to be free somehow, as I kind of feel like I'm "straight-passing" in order to not feel potentially discriminated perhaps? Idk if it makes sense. Sorry for shifting the mood, but I don't want to clog up the mental health thread either.
My name starts with a "k" so whenever I went to Starbucks, I said my name was "Kevin," which I found funny because I have second(? or third?) cousins named Kevin. My middle name is "Linh," so I think if I ever do transition, I'd want to be called "Kaylinh" because it's my first initial and my middle name and it sounds nice. I went to Starbucks yesterday and said my name was "Kaylinh" and had "Kaylin" written on my cup (that's fair, the "h" is silent) and felt kind of... good. I then went to Barnes and Noble to find some books on transitioning and bought Super Late Bloomer, but when I went to check out, the cashier called me "sir," which felt kind of... not so good. tbf, I'm still presenting as male. Still... Of the like half dozen places I went to yesterday (T-Mobile, Target, Ross, AMC, Hot Topic), I think I've had like two or three queer people help me. idk, my gaydar doesn't work yet. I'm not gay until I transition, if I transition.
It's a scary thing to "come out" and live a louder queer lifestyle, even if the majority of people may know you're queer. Being in a queer relationship, or out in public actively engaging in queer culture are different things I think than simply acknowledging our queerness. Not everybody feels the need to be so open about it and engage in the community but personally I think it's massively important for my mental to surround myself with people who understand me on that level. I'm lucky to have met a ton of LGBTQ+ people over the years through work, school, etc. I found that being very vocal and proud about who I am drew these people to me. Do you have anybody in your life that is queer that you would feel comfortable going to something with? Say a concert or club? Finding queer artists and going to their shows is one way I used to be around members of a community I felt a part of. Why do you want to buy more feminine clothes? Is it something you want to do or is it something you feel like you have to do? My style has really evolved in the last couple of years, and the more it has the more comfortable I feel in myself and realize that my queerness really affects every part of my life, including my wardrobe. I am coming to terms with who I am in a way through the clothes I wear and I get many compliments on my style now and it's incredibly validating. Take a look at the person you are and want to reflect through your wardrobe choices and look at styles of people whose fashion you want to emulate and start there. Personally I only came out as a lesbian last week and now I walk in public holding my girl's hand and I literally fantasized about that moment for so long, and when it first happened it was this incredible thing but also very scary. All of a sudden I realized that there was this tiny fear in my brain about people judging, or even attempting to harm me or my gf. And having these conversations with family and some friends felt very revealing and made me feel vulnerable even though I am very proud of who I am and so happy to be here today. It's scary to feel like there's something about us that can be put under a microscope and judged and that's even accepted by many people - it can be a lonely feeling to be "different" or not what is the "norm" to people - using those words but you get what I mean. But I think if you start slowly making changes in your life - maybe with wardrobe, maybe go to your local LGBTQ+ center for an event (if there is one), or planning a trip to do go to an art show with a gay artist, or going to a club, etc - you'll find that will build into an overwhelming confidence and even the adversity you may face for being the person you are could never be enough to back down from that.
Super Late Bloomer is a good read. I wish I could offer more than that comment, lol, but everything else is outside my experiences.
I would also recommend looking up volunteer opportunities at LGBT organizations for anyone who doesn't feel like they're "in" the community
Hi how’s it going I identify as pan or bi or queer (the exact label doesn’t matter a ton to me) and I also have a ton of conflicting thoughts about my gender identity that I’ve kind of tried to suppress for a while. Now that I’m writing a paper for school about the ways in which gender neutral pronouns can be liberating and validating for non-binary and genderfluid individuals, I’m realizing how much he/him kind of puts me in a box that I don’t like being in! I don’t know!
If y’all are comfy let’s introduce ourselves properly !!! My name is Audrey. I’m a lesbian trans woman, and I go by she/her pronouns. I make music under the name Problem Addict, and used to be the lead guitarist of the band Mineral Girls. and dis my face
here’s my face with professionally done makeup cis bi lady (she/her) but I’m cool with the label queer as well