I impulse bought the Southland Tales Blu Ray and watched the Cannes Cut tonight and I'm completely obsessed with this dumb movie, here's the review I put on Letterboxd:
Really want to rewatch this, gotta get my bluray back from my buddy so I can subject more friends to it
Smile - 5/10 This thing got good reviews? Let me say the effects and scares were all amazing. A lot of genuinely solid boos and creepy visuals and its a horror movie so I guess they did their job but man oh man was this main protagonist just the absolute worst. She was terrible in this. Her acting was netflix worthy. Writing was lazy, and let's be honest, most of the good "scares" were just jump scare horror movie tropes. Nothing clever here. Just going through the motions of making a horror movie out of a creepy smile gimmick. A 5 though because I was entertained by the good effects and how bad the rest of the movie was so all in all a good time at the movies
Had really low expectations (like This Movie Won’t Exist level) but I thought it was solid! I did get to see it in a Dolby Cinema auditorium though and it SOUNDED incredible
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen 2/10 Came back from Universal Orlando wanting to watch these for some ungodly reason. The first one was bad (but kind of in a fun way), but goddamn...this was brutal. I don't think I can keep going. They just keep getting longer. The last 45 minutes was literally a single action sequence filmed AT THE GREAT PYRAMIDS OF GIZA and I still couldn't keep my eyes on the screen. Truly a terrible film. Rainn Wilson as a horny professor is the worst thing ever committed to film. I just wanted to get to Mark Wahlberg and the dinobots.
Haha I had no expectations as I never hears of it but my brother wanted to go to the movies. He was disappointed. Yes the sound was good and it felt like a director who knew what he was doing and did a wonderful job making it all work. I just hated the main character so much and her acting. I have 2 pet peeves in horror movies and this one kept checking them off - "crazy" characteer trying to convince the people around them that they're not "crazy", but they absolutely suck at it because they yell "iM NoT crAzyyy" . Nephew gets a dead cat and she falls through a glass window and goes "why are you all looking at me like that, I'm fine". Psh what!? Come on man. You're literally a therapist that deals with this stuff all the time! You'd think with her background, she would be better at trying to handle the situation. She goes from a level headed person to psycho super fast and wonders why the people around her won't believe her. You literally just had a patient acting, describing the exact thing you're describing, and you didn't believer her...this happened yesterday, back when you were a respected, trained therapist...surely you'd realize how it sounds and come up with a more sound way of handling this - and then when a character does believer her she consistently leaves him in the dark. "Do you mind explaining to me what this is all about". "No I gotta go". WTF lady!! Finally someone is trying to believe you and you give them nothing. Also as my brother complained, the rhyme or reason of the monster scaring her was a little all over the place. Horror movies work better when you establish the rules of the monster and stick with it. Seeing smiling faces, getting prank calls, playing with time and mind, making them look crazy by giving dead cats. Too broad of what this evil monster can and can't do which allows the movie to do anything it wants. Sorry lol long vent. This is why its a 5. It wasn't boring (although eventually I got to a point where you knew what the ending was so its like get on with it).
Sliver - 3.5/10 "50 Shades of Suck" Final Destination 5 - 7.5/10 The gymnastics scene is an all-timer Transformers: Dark of the Moon - 7/10 The worst movie I've ever unironically enjoyed. Call me crazy, but this one has Sam Raimi vibes. Leonard Nimoy rules and so does giving Optimus Prime a giant shotgun. Splatter Farm - 7.5/10 Truly insane film. For better or worse, it gave me the same visceral reaction that the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre gives me every time.
Skinamarink - 7.3/10 this is definitely not for everyone but it mostly worked for me, even if it could've had a good twenty minutes or more shaved off of it in the editing room.