Just Another Day In LA1iens Exist [ARCHIVED] • Page 753

go on

 

CUPS is up!

 

father of the year

 

wish I wasn't

 

Not yet

 

why are you?

 

idk, randomly woke up and first thought was to check this website lol. must. prioritze. better.

 

hahahahaha yeaaaah you and everybody else here lol. i do the same thing.

 

So much pain

 

where?

 

not that you know of at least

 

Gonna sleep now. Enjoy your movie

 

father of the year was directed at bachna btw for early morning mamma mia viewings but perhaps one of you other heathens conceived tonight too

 

@ComedownMachine pound some Advil and water. Good luck

 

Not sure why it quoted you like this but fuck it

 

to be fair i’d probably be watching even if my kids were still asleep

 

chorus after dark

 

I await your dissertation

 

I’ll copy and paste a previous one

 

As some of you are aware, I am a fan of 2008's masterpiece Mamma Mia! (hereby referred to as Mamma Mia without the exclamation point, because that's just confusing).

Over the past couple of months, I have had the pleasure of viewing this fine film somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 times as my 3 year old daughter has taken a liking to the movie. After repeated viewings, there are several things that irk me about the film. I'll start with the one that keeps me up at night.

1) There is a serious timeline issue involving the most critical plot point of the Mamma Mia universe. I, like most other fans of the Mamma Mia series (which now includes this year's hit sequel Mamma Mia! Here We Go Again - hereby referred to without the exclamation point, because that's just confusing) hold the first movie as canon. Without going into too much detail, the movie centers around Sophie's (played by the terrific Amanda Seyfried) quest to find her father prior to her wedding ceremony. She finds her mother Donna's (played by the amazing Meryl Streep) journal which details some of Donna's "escapades" roughly 10 months prior to the birth of Sophie. In a scene with two of her best friends, Sophie details the accounts of said journal. Per the journal, on July 17th (year unknown) it is inferred that Donna had carnal relations with Sam Carmichael (portrayed by Pierce Brosnan). A couple of weeks later, on August 4th to be exact, Donna and Bill Anderson (portrayed by Stellan Skarsgard) became one in the most intimate of ways. Finally, one week later on August 11th, Donna once more gave into her fleshly desires - this time with Harry Bright (portrayed by the ever delightful Colin Firth).

Why is this a problem, you ask? I'll tell you why. In Mamma Mia Here We Go Again, we see through flashback sequences that Donna first encounters Harry Bright (aka Harry Headbanger) in Paris, where they share a bed. Donna leaves and encounters Bill Anderson, but they do NOT sleep together at this point. While in Greece, she meets a young Sam Carmichael and the two have quite a romance. Unfortunately for Donna, Sam is engaged and upon learning that, Donna tells Sam that she never wants to see him again and that's the end of that. She then has another encounter with Bill Anderson and this time they seal the deal.

So to sum things up, Mamma Mia gives the order of Donna's lovers as Sam - Bill - Harry and Mamma Mia Here We Go Again gives the order as Harry - Sam - Bill. The stories don't sync up and I'm just about sick over it.

2) How does Sophie find the present day addresses of Sam, Bill, and Harry??? At the beginning of Mamma Mia, Sophie mails out invitations to her three potential fathers. She read their names out of her mother's journal, but how did she track down the addresses??? None of them have particularly difficult surnames. I have a very difficult time believing that she could've tracked them down. I'm just not buying it.

3) Prior to the scene in Mamma Mia where Donna sings the song Mamma Mia, she spots her three former lovers and she has a quick flashback to what they looked like 20 years prior. It bothers me that the actors that were cast to play the young Sam, Bill, and Harry in Mamma Mia Here We Go Again look nothing like how they were portrayed during the brief flashback sequence in Mamma Mia.

4) Accents (or lack thereof) - I never gave this much thought until @iCarly Rae Jepsen mentioned it, but why don't Donna and Sophie have Greek accents???

5) And finally, the age of the actors/actresses. Upon graduating college, Donna went on her travels and soon became pregnant. I assume that she gave birth to Sophie somewhere in the age range of 23-25 depending on how long her college experience last. During Mamma Mia Here We Go Again, it is said that Sophie is currently 25 and the present day events of Mamma Mia Here We Go Again occur 5 years later than the events of Mamma Mia. So Sophie would have been 20 during the events of Mamma Mia, putting Donna in the age range of 43-45. At the time of Mamma Mia's release, Meryl Streep was 59 years old. While Meryl Streep is a national treasure, I think that perhaps an actress approximately 15 years younger than Meryl Streep should have been cast for the part. I haven't given a lot of thought as to who that would be, but I'll save that endeavor for a rainy day.

Lastly, in Mamma Mia Here We Go Again, Cher is introduced as Sophie's grandmother (and Donna's mother). In real life, Cher is currently 72 and Meryl Streep is currently 69 (nice). I find it highly unlikely that Sophie's grandmother birthed her mother at the tender age of 3. But there's really no way to know for sure.

 

Donna f*cks

 

So who is the father?

 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

if bachna is father of the year... then who is daddy of the year?

 

one of the balds on this page is missing their wig