sort of what i expected although if ruben isn't in the band anymore, i'm going to think it's more than what matt is saying but we'll find out
Did they delete that post or am I missing something? This actually really sucks, this band finally started clicking with me this week. I don't wanna keep listening if there's even more to the story that we don't know yet.
I appreciate it but I didn't mean that post haha i meant the one that was screenshotted above. Not there anymore, just checked their FB again and didn't see it. should have specified
after thinking about this more and talking with some people i don't think i can listen to this band anymore. bummer
nah, but the statement is tbh bad enough at least where i'm at right now i'm okay giving this band a little hiatus from my ears. i'm up to hear more discussion from people about what accountability should be and what should or should not be enough to make up for horrific things but for now i'm of the mindset that i should back off
Reading that post didn't seem like a terrible thing happened. It looked like things were more complicated than they should have been. But my only knowledge of this is reading that post once
too many people are calling them "brave" for bringing it up and not holding them accountable enough in a situation where they got someone drunk and then had sex with them
I wouldn't say brave is the right word, more like it was the right thing to do. However, there are many dates where adults bring a person over for wine or some drinks that go from initiating conversation to more. However because they are in college, one might assume they had more of a malicious intent. Just by the post alone, that pointing to the windowsill and cuddling the previous night seems to be like the person had some sort of knowledge of the context of the situation. Moving on to intercourse may have been hasty but that all depends on the people. I think there is just not enough information and context right now to conclude if they did a shitty thing. That's my thought process atm. Edit: not trying to defend matt, just trying to look at this objectively
if someone is drunk they cannot consent also feel like matt tried to make it about themselves a little too much, should have been zero focus on themselves at all, it is not about them
Technically yes that is correct. The other person's side of the story is needed before conclusions can be made though
and as of now, with the information had, matt's side is enough for me to feel uncomfortable listening to them
Unless more comes out, if the statement was accurate and what happened then I'm personally okay to continue listening to this band It seems like he was unaware that she was not into it and if you don't give someone evidence to the contrary...I don't know, it's hard to know something is wrong if nobody is telling you that it is? Sorry if this is ignorant or hurtful and I'm happy to hear as to why - that was just my initial reaction
for the time being, I'm taking a break from the band because I'm having a lot of complicated feelings about the situation. what Matt did was wrong, and I think they know that based on their statement, but also the victim commented on the status saying it never should have been posted (hence its deletion) and that she just wanted the two of them to move on with their lives. so I'm unsure of what the "right" course of action is or would have been, (aside from completely avoiding situations like that in the first place, obviously). just sucks that the frontperson of a band so outspoken about safe spaces and mental health and sexuality would turn out like this. disappointing and discouraging to say the least.