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I Was A Cable Guy. I Saw The Worst Of America.

Discussion in 'Article Discussion' started by Melody Bot, Jan 7, 2019.

  1. Melody Bot

    Your friendly little forum bot. Staff Member

    This article has been imported from for discussion. All of the forum rules still apply.

    Lauren Hough, writing at HuffPost:

    This is the stuff I can’t remember — how a particular day unfolded. Maybe the next job was the Great Falls, Virginia, housewife who answered the door in some black skimpy thing I never really saw because I work very hard at eye contact when faced with out-of-context nudity. She was expecting a man. I’m a 6-foot lesbian. If I showed up at your door in a uniform with my hair cut in what’s known to barbers as the International Lesbian Option No. 2, you might mistake me for a man. Everyone does. She was rare in that she realized I’m a woman. We laughed about it. She found a robe while I replaced her cable box. She asked if I needed to use a bathroom, and I loved her.

    This was a great read.

  2. cosmickid

    Composer, but never composed.

    It really was. Thanks for sharing.
    Jason Tate likes this.
  3. mercury

    modern-day offspring fanatic Supporter

    Idk, i thought her response to Dick Cheney’s assistant was pretty great. What a fun read!
    Jason Tate likes this.
  4. kpatrickwood

    Give what you can. Supporter

    Super funny and kinda depressing. I had a paper route when I was 14/15, and in that two years, I saw enough weirdness from just the outside of people's houses to fill a book.
  5. supernovagirl

    Poetic and noble land mermaid

    when I first saw this last week I sent it to my ex basically asking him to reconsider the electrician path he was about to embark on.
    Kingjohn_654 likes this.
  6. Serenity Now

    deliver us from e-mail Supporter

    Reads a bit like a Chuck Palahniuk book. Favorite line, "...the American id in its underpants, wondering if it remembered to delete the browsing history."

    That needs to be worked into a song pronto.
  7. AMC


    As someone that is worked in people's houses for about 20 years 75% of people's houses are disgusting
  8. Serenity Now

    deliver us from e-mail Supporter

    We’re all animals after all...
  9. Zip It Chris

    Be kind; everyone is on their own journey. Supporter

    Incredible writing...if She ever wants out of being a cable technician, she certainly has a career in storytelling.

    The supervisors made a good show of pretending to care that we made it to jobs. The dispatchers canceled everything they could. The techs, we didn’t talk much. Every so often someone would mic their Nextel to scream: “This is bullshit! They’re going to get us fucking killed!” And someone else would say, “They don’t care, man. They won’t have to pay anyway. They’ll piss test your corpse and say you were high. Motherfuckers.”

    “They’ll fucking care when I plow my van through the front of their building.”

    “Dude, I’m gonna ram the next little Ford Ranger I see.” Supervisors drove Rangers.

    “Fuck that. I’m ramming a cop.”

    “Bitch, how you gonna know what you’re ramming? Can’t fucking see the snowplow in front of me.”
    sawhney[rusted]2 likes this.