General Forum Chat Thread (I) [ARCHIVED] • Page 537

As I stated before I am not saying nor do I believe he showed a pattern of abuse. I really don't see it, but mind you this is all new to me. I am trying to do my best to understand and have stayed silence as I watched this all unfold.

As for your question, I think it would depend, but specifically be in a situation where an abuser was successfully deflecting their harmful actions because of their addiction. Once again, not saying he is one of these people.

Also please take your time to answer this if you want to respond back to me. I'm sure you're weary and exhausted and I don't mean to stress you any further.

I mean you bring up person to person basis, and what's between two people is fine I guess. But if something is systemic as I mentioned before, I'd think it would be addressed as a societal issue.

 

Same.

 

A Mets fan would do that.

Ps avatar bet for the subway series this summer?

 

OMG I CAN'T STOPPPPP!!!

 

Yeah, I looked back at the interactions on here and didn't see anything. Obviously can't look back at AP. I assume, from Anna's tweets, that this animosity is rooted in Kanye? I can't speak on any private interactions that I didn't witness.

With that being said, I really resent the fact that the people who supported Jake/others who spoke out about addiction is being relegated to "absolving" them. It trivializes the discussions that took place and really made me feel uncomfortable about how much I spoke out on the matter. I don't know what the private interactions were, I can't speak to what occurred. What I saw, I responded to.

 

Is it systemic though? That's not rhetorical, I'm just not educated enough on the matter.

 

I should have gotten that afternoon Starbucks drink today. Damn it!

 

I see your point. I guess I feel like that's behavior common of most abusers, be it addicts or not, to deflect their behavior on another ancillary issue.

 

I don't know.

I mean we got two similar reactions from two women who are also prominent feminists in our community. In my head it raised some flags. Maybe there is something they're seeing that I'm not?

 

What have I done.

 

This discussion is none of my business. But I have one general request I think most of us who are not involved would appreciate.

I'm not a fan of the bold declarations of "I'm done, I'm out," or "I can't continue to post here. Canceling my account," etc......and then nobody actually leaves or cancels their account. I've seen a few of these over the last week across this site, and idk if anyone has actually meant it yet. Idk if it's a way of calling attention to a particular argument or situation or just a kneejerk response, but if you aren't actually done posting here, there's no point in making that declaration.

 

This whole situation has made me feel not great today, getting some thoughts out there. As an addict and someone who suffers from extreme mental health issues, the idea that that can be used as an emotional manipulation tactic is an idea that isn't helpful to the conversation that needs to be had as a whole and only adds stigma to an already powerful series of diseases. Regardless of if someone is talking about one person or not, or if context is provided, people still have a right to get upset at that generalization, just as people have a right to be upset about past occurances in their lives. I'm probably making not a lot of sense here, but the gist is those comments were upsetting to me, especially coming from someone who seems to be all about equality and inclusion from a feminist perspective (not that I'm saying that that isn't important, because it vastly is).

I'm saying that people have been hurt today, Jake chief among them, and that's who needs our support most. I don't know him very well, but I've always loved his writing and his recommendations, and his being hurt by these comments is important regardless of his past actions in a website that does not exist anymore.

Basically I'm saying that the comments posted on Twitter made their way over here, and had a negative effect on people, myself included, who have a right to be upset about a generalization made towards addicts, even though the intent to generalize was not there.

I just felt the need to get my thoughts out there as these discussions today have made me think about a lot of things. If it makes it better, read all of this in Kermit the Frogs voice, then it'll sound better

 

I'm curious what triggered her to say all this.

I really don't know either so I'm just sitting on the sidelines trying to gather facts.

 

givin me too much credit, just wanted a nice spring look :^ )

i wont mind seeing this around again

 

I feel you Kermit. It's not easy being Green

No but in all seriousness, right on.

 

What were you quoting from the N&O?

 

@Jason Tate I need a Pete Wentz Emoji. Get on it!

 

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ has asked that I remove all this posts from the site. I just wanted to post that this was requested and I'm not doing it out of malice or anything like that. I am also not banning any of the accounts that asked to be disabled, I'm literally just disabling them. So I wanted that to be clear as well. It's going to take a minute and mess up some of the forums to do this, as pruning that number of posts is going to be intensive. And they're still going to show up in "quotes" places. This is something I really can't do very often because of the query I have to run on the DB, but I am going to make an exception this time.

This whole thing has been rough. But I hope that the forums become a better place in time because we've had those discussions. Again, I begrudge no one that asked to have their account closed. And again to those members: I am sorry this occurred, deeply.

I just wanted to be transparent about everything with the forum.

 

Turns out trying to delete all posts will just take the server down.