This article has been imported from chorus.fm for discussion. All of the forum rules still apply. The full message from Frances Quinlan can be read below. I’ve come to understand (better) why I felt so compelled to start going by my middle name when I turned 18 and went away to college. I needed distance from a role that I have never understood or felt agency within. Sixteen years later, it still confounds me.I know this, because for so long I thought I had to be desired to gain true worth as a person. Perhaps a lot of us have felt this way.For so long I thought I had to be a “correct” version of a woman. This is a falsehood I no longer buy.Honestly, I STILL don’t know what being a woman is. No one has been able to tell me.I am privileged and grateful to have had the time, space, and generous insight offered by both advocates and friends, as I’ve learned about the expansive identity that is being nonbinary. I feel more at home with myself in a way I did not realized was possible.I am embarrassed to say I did not realize how much space there has always been. It’s humans who have created these roles and strange rules. I am inspired and humbled witnessing so many who’ve taken great risk to be their true selves outside of these uneasy, fearful constructs.I probably should have typed this up in a word doc. F*ck it.Identifying as nonbinary has helped me to finally be at home in this body. The pronouns they/them feel most right to me.Thank you for reading. I hope you are finding the space for yourself, too. more Not all embedded content is displayed here. You can view the original to see embedded videos, tweets, etc.