Ex-Beach Slang Guitarists Responds to Exiting Band

Discussion in 'Article Discussion' started by Melody Bot, Oct 12, 2016.

  1. Melody Bot

    Your friendly little forum bot. Staff Member

    This article has been imported from chorus.fm for discussion. All of the forum rules still apply.

    Ex-Beach Slang guitarist, Ruben Gallego, has responded in regard to being asked to leave the band. The statement can be found below.

    I’d like to say that what’s important to me is that people stand with survivors and that we continue to foster an environment where people aren’t afraid to speak out against their abusers.
    Although I do feel like what’s being said about me is inaccurate it’s irrelevant. I think it’s totally possible for people to see a situation completely differently and if this person feels I harmed them then that’s what I care about and I want to make that right.

    I also care deeply about how this affects other victims of sexual assault specifically the ones who attend Beach Slang shows and felt that sticking around would further isolate them.

    James [Alex] and Ed [McNulty] are the sweetest most caring people I’ve ever known and I feel they did the right thing and I will always support them.”

     
  2. Colby Searcy

    is Bad Prestigious

    Why can't every statement like this be like this?
     
  3. Chase Tremaine

    theherox @oursbyaccident oursbyaccident.com Supporter

    Bravo.
     
  4. sponsor
  5. Larry David

    "damn, i was wrong." @dylan 2/15/18 Supporter

    Class on both of their ends in handling this situation appropriately
     
    Carmensaopaulo likes this.
  6. redwing91007

    Next Show - The National 7/12/2017 Supporter

    Really impressed with how this whole thing was handled. The whole scene needs to take a good hard look at this.
     
    FTank and Carmensaopaulo like this.
  7. jorbjorb

    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    wish he would say what he would do to make things "right".
     
  8. devenstonow

    Noobie

    So that people could criticize him making public the details of what is (clearly) a private matter that everyone involved wants to remain a private matter?
     
  9. skogsraet

    Trusted Supporter

    I don't think that's necessary. We don't know exactly what happened, so what he's doing to make things right may not seem like enough and as a result might end up sending the wrong message. Making things right in a situation like this means making things right by the victim, and part of that might just be keeping things private.
     
    RiseAgainst379 and Aaron Mook like this.
  10. Zac Djamoos

    goodness, present and hallowed Prestigious

    This whole thing, from what we've seen, has been handled very well. Such a shame that that is a surprise, but I'm very glad they're all doing the right thing
     
    Colby Searcy and Aaron Mook like this.
  11. Shordeli

    Newbie

    This kinda of response blows my mind. People always complain that these situations aren't handled correctly, and this guy goes out of his way (as he should) to try and resolve this issue without any victim blaming and STILL it's not enough. I just don't get it.
     
    FTank, GEM37 and smoke4thecaper like this.
  12. fluxyjoe

    the confines of my mind are an enigma Supporter

    To preface, (I think) I get what everyone's saying, and compared to many other statements made by members of the scene, this is an improvement. But I don't agree with or feel comfortable praising an "appropriate" response (quotes used because there is nothing appropriate, good, positive, etc. about these situations). There's definitely an effort being made there, but it still doesn't feel like enough. An apology or directly taking responsibility (shout-out to @mercury for talking this out with me) needs to be present or else the rest is an empty statement with a "you tried" sentiment.
     
  13. Shordeli

    Newbie

    Look, I totally get your sentiment. I really do. But we don't even know what the allegations are. I think this was handled about the best way possible for a situation as shitty as this, and personally, I think it's better to show support for the way this was handled than to constantly try and find fault with a statement that was well intentioned from where I'm sitting. Also, I don't think people are so much praising the statement, as they are stating the fact that this is a huge improvement over the bullshit responses to allegations we've seen in the past.
     
  14. deadpatch

    Newbie

    I can understand the band wanting to address the issue and even part ways but it seems like there is this trend now of having to publicly distance yourself from the individuals involved in these type of situations.

    It seems like he wants to address the situation so maybe let him do that before you bring out your pitchfork.
     
    Shordeli likes this.
  15. skogsraet

    Trusted Supporter

    I don't think not wanting to be associated with sexual assault is a trend.
     
    Zac Djamoos, Joe4th, fluxyjoe and 2 others like this.
  16. deadpatch

    Newbie

    Obviously, but why is it the business of the whole "scene"? It has nothing to do with anyone but him and the other person involved.
     
  17. Aaron Mook

    GLOW // @moscowghoul Moderator

    Wrong, it has to do with an abuser having access to many more potential victims who attend a show they're playing.
     
    Carmensaopaulo and Joe4th like this.
  18. fluxyjoe

    the confines of my mind are an enigma Supporter

    Totally agree on being in the dark on specifics about the situation and that this is a huge improvement on either ignoring or not taking any responsibility as so many others sadly have done. And while I certainly support the direction of this statement and agree that any progress is good, it's not where, I feel, it should be yet. Baby steps are still steps, and I completely get that.

    Good intentions are good; good intentions with specific, communicated, and good actions (such as apologizing and taking direct responsibility) are better.
     
  19. deadpatch

    Newbie

    Unless the other person involved was a fan of the band or something that is a ludicrous statement.
     
  20. Aaron Mook

    GLOW // @moscowghoul Moderator

    How so? If an abuser is a member of a relatively well-known band, they are in a position of power and are given direct access to potential victims any time they play a show and interact with others. It's quite literally the opposite of a "safe space."
     
  21. deadpatch

    Newbie

    I agree with you %100 but you're making lots of assumptions for someone who knows little about the situation. I'm just saying its fucked up that the guy is automatically being treated like a predator when its still pretty unclear what happened. At least to everyone discussing it here, that is.
     
  22. Aaron Mook

    GLOW // @moscowghoul Moderator

    I am making literally zero assumptions about the situation. My comments stand for any situation like this, and Ruben himself in his statement says "what's important to me is...that we continue to foster an environment where people aren't afraid to speak out against their abusers" and "I also care deeply about how this affects other victims of sexual assault specifically the ones who attend Beach Slang shows and felt that sticking around would further isolate them." He recognizes why showgoers might feel uncomfortable and agrees that James and Ed made the right decision by parting ways and taking away his platform.
     
  23. Yellowcard2006

    Regular

    Better Off could learn a lot from this. Ruben's statement is very logical and I do hope some kind of conclusion is reached but is sexual assault ever just a difference of opinion or a misunderstanding? Consent is easy to understand.
     
    mercury likes this.
  24. elphshelf

    I'm not living, I'm just killing time

    If lawyers are involved, he's probably been advised against doing either of those because he'd basically be publicly admitting guilt.
     
  25. cheetofingers07

    Newbie

    I wish he did not have to make a statement in the first place, because I wish whatever the incident was never took place. That being said, the silver lining here is that maybe other artists will see this and conduct themselves with class and respect to the individual who is making the claim.
     
    Aaron Mook, elphshelf and Zac Djamoos like this.