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Eric Leaves Turnover for the “Foreseeable Future” • Page 2

Discussion in 'Article Discussion' started by Melody Bot, Jun 21, 2017.

  1. justin.

    請叫我賴總統 Supporter

    I never heard about this until now. Damn. The new song they posted yesterday is pretty tight too.

    Hopefully he seeks help before he hurts himself.
     
  2. zachmacD Jun 22, 2017
    (Last edited: Jun 22, 2017)
    zachmacD

    Trusted

    I have to edit my post because things seem to be going sideways in the comments below this one.
    I'm not blaming the victim for speaking out. I'm simply asking questions. I don't listen to pop punk anymore because of all the accusations and the shitty morals/mindsets I've seen come out of that community. But for you to say some of us have terrible morals for asking a question is insane to me and very closed minded.
     
  3. Chinesefood

    Regular

    Give me a break, man.
     
    Raku likes this.
  4. Chinesefood Jun 22, 2017
    (Last edited: Jun 22, 2017)
    Chinesefood

    Regular

    It absolutely does when fans "expect" to know the ins and outs of someone's relationship.
     
    Raku likes this.
  5. cwhit

    still emperor emo Prestigious

  6. Chinesefood

    Regular

    Just because his relationship went south doesn't mean he is a predator deserving of demonization.
     
    Raku likes this.
  7. cwhit

    still emperor emo Prestigious

    she literally said in her tweets that he has done this to several women
     
  8. Craig Ismaili

    @tgscraig Prestigious

    A lot of predictably awful people and takes in here displaying we have a long way to go before the music industry is a safe place for all people to appreciate/participate in without fear of harassment or abuse.
     
  9. Jared Luttrell

    Regular

    Some shameful comments made in this thread. Seems we have a long way to go still as a music scene.
     
    Joe4th likes this.
  10. justin.

    請叫我賴總統 Supporter

    I think one of the reasons the scene isn't getting much better is because a lot of the people who no longer put up with the harassment either a) don't attend many shows in the scene b) stopped going to shows that are associated with the scene.

    The scene will always attract very young people but a lot of us who are ready to denounce a lot of the stuff that's wrong with it are not there.

    I'm guilty of it as well because college and work. Until the majority of the people who speak out against harassment consists of the younger crowds that make up a lot of the shows then I don't see it gettting much better, unfortunately. Not that any of that will cause me to stop speaking against it.
     
  11. AshlandATeam Jun 22, 2017
    (Last edited: Jun 22, 2017)
    AshlandATeam

    Trusted

    So I'll throw this out here:

    I asked what I asked yesterday because quite frankly, the concept that 'manipulation in a relationship = emotional abuse worth getting counseling for/fired from a job for' is a foreign one. As honestly as I can put it to strangers on the internet, my parents have been married for 40 years, and growing up, I saw manipulation daily. I know that isn't healthy, and in my own marriage, it's been a challenge to make sure I try my best to not be that way (or allow my wife to be that way). We actually had a lengthy conversation about this thread and our relationship last night, because it was just really eye opening to have it put in those terms.

    I think that everyone just has baggage. I get that 110% of the time, physical and sexual abuse are not okay. But some of this feel gray area-y, if only for the fact of my own experiences (hell, I grew up in the church. Guilt being abusive means that every church interaction I ever had was 'abuse' lol). That doesn't mean they ARE; it just means they feel that way. I get that it's super shitty to cheat and manipulate; but shitty relationships aren't always abusive ones. At least in the terms I'm used to dealing with and the way I'm used to thinking.

    So yeah. I guess the bottom line is that speaking for myself, I definitely have a long way to go personally. And I hope nothing I said yesterday was hurtful in anyway to anyone - I'm truly trying to learn and grow and be the best I can be, and these terms and concepts of what is and isn't emotional abuse that a lot of people (here and in the Facebook thread) just take for granted are brand new to me, because that was, and is, just normal.
     
  12. tyramail

    Trusted Supporter


    I'm with you in this. My last girlfriend was very manipulative in the same "I'll kill my self if you leave" type of way. While I obviously don't condone manipulative relationships in any way, I do think that when relationships start to turn sour it's not super uncommon for words like that to be thrown out. And I know in the heat of that relationship ending I said some things I'm not exactly proud of. Obviously Eric should seek help because it's not an effective way to handle anything, but I also do think this is more common in relationships than you'd think, but since he's in a band he is held up on more of a pedastal and held accountable in ways you or I wouldn't be if we were in that situation. I know plenty of close friends who've been in toxic relationship with manipulative people, I do think we as humans have a long way to go to start having and keeping more healthy relationships. Just my two cents.
     
    Raku, coleslawed and AshlandATeam like this.
  13. carrytheweird

    www.nrdc.org


    Making someone believe that you will harm yourself if they leave you is extremely bad, manipulative emotional abuse. The person on the receiving end has to continue with a different mindset, walk on eggshells, and fear the guilt of somebody placing their own self harm on their shoulders. Not only will that mentally affect that person in the moment, if they do move on, they will have that expectation from others they see too. It will negatively impact their own confidence and have them blaming their self, and they will expect and sabotage future opportunities to be happy.

    It's not as simple as "everyone has baggage." Bulllllllshit, you deal with that baggage and you leave it in the past. You have to better yourself and be okay on your own before you jump into another relationship and repeat the same steps on somebody else, which clearly was the case with Eric.
     
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  14. AshlandATeam Jun 22, 2017
    (Last edited: Jun 22, 2017)
    AshlandATeam

    Trusted

    I didn't mean 'everyone has baggage' in the sense of what Eric did. I mean in the sense of how people react.

    Quite simply, the text messages the victim showed as evidence of abuse didn't look to me to be abusive. Unhealthy? Sure. Abusive? Not really. Apparently there were deleted tweets with more information, and in that case, okay.

    I'm responding to the fact that people are reacting differently to this than simply saying 'fuck that abuser.' Because we all have baggage - emotional manipulation isn't as easy to see as a black eye or someone being sexually assaulted. I've been amazed at what people think is normal in relationships. And I can tell you for certain in my real world circle, someone being emotionally manipulative is in no way in the same category as sexual or physical abuse. Maybe it's shitty; maybe it's a reason to break up. But I've had the exact scenarios in this case in my relationships done to me, and I would never have said 'I'm a victim of abuse.' And tons of other people are in that same boat.

    These conversations are good. I'm glad to have them. We have progress to make as people. But the word 'abuse' is a strong, almost universally criminal word. It's a conversation that needs more than just 'that's a bad take if someone wants to talk about precisely what is and isn't abuse.'
     
    coleslawed likes this.
  15. justin.

    請叫我賴總統 Supporter

    Saying you'll kill yourself if your girlfriend or boyfriend breaks up with you is an obvious sign of a mental illness and should be addressed to a professional.
     
    Raku likes this.
  16. cwhit

    still emperor emo Prestigious

    the fact that he's done the same thing to several women (as reported by the victim and someone else on the band's facebook post says her sister was part of this too) means it's more than just one bad relationship. it's serial abuse
     
    Nick, Petit nain des Îles and Joe4th like this.
  17. Chinesefood Jun 22, 2017
    (Last edited: Jun 22, 2017)
    Chinesefood

    Regular

    And aren't you doing absolute wonders for the music industry by being insufferably condescending online. I come on this site because it provides me the option to have an open dialogue with intelligent people, not to be called an awful person for not helping to demonize a young man who suffers from mental illness, just as I do. The only point I was trying to make is that I don't feel as though this man's business needed to have a light shone on it, and be dissected by the saviors of the scene, simply because he makes music, and because they think this information is owed to them. That's where the entitlement comes in. Don't hold your breath waiting for the day this kind of shit doesn't happen with band members, just as it does to people in any profession. I am sorry, though, that you'll no longer feel safe at Turnover shows. The guitarist is pretty good looking. If you dare put yourself in his line of vision, stay close to the venue staff.
     
    Raku, emeryk3 and tyramail like this.
  18. Craig Ismaili

    @tgscraig Prestigious

    [​IMG]
     
  19. Craig Ismaili

    @tgscraig Prestigious

    Can we just ban this guy again and move on. Jeez.
     
  20. :chin:
     
  21. Chinesefood

    Regular

    Raku and Ourchestra like this.
  22. zachmacD

    Trusted

    Dude. thank you for this. This post and your post above it hit exactly on what I was trying to get at.

    Also, not directed at you If you truly care about a cause and someone is saying something ignorant, reply to the person and inform them. Don't make random comments in the thread calling someone who doesn't see something the same way that they have terrible morals.
     
  23. Malatesta

    i may get better but we won't ever get well Prestigious

    kinda not good that they waited this long to do something about it
     
  24. Connor

    we're all a bunch of weirdos on a quest to belong Prestigious

    At least they did something
     
    FreshnessExpired likes this.
  25. justin.

    請叫我賴總統 Supporter

    They could have just waited to release a statement.