Discussion in 'General Forum' started by Dominick, Aug 30, 2016.
Sorry for your loss.
Thanks man. Honestly it’s been so god damn long since I’ve felt emotional about it that I kinda forget what it’s like. I wish I did. I want to cry about it. But I feel so far removed from the situation at this point even though I miss him so much. I dunno, grieving is weird
I can relate to this hard. The confusion of "why isn't this harder for me?" on a day of importance is a very strange one but try not to let it get you down. You got this, D with a B!
My uncle passed away last week. We weren’t very close but I love this picture of him and my grandma. Pretty crazy to think that it’s been about 70 years since this picture was taken and she’s still around. Like, imagine being able to tell yourself that in 70 years you’ll still be alive but your son will die
I’ve got a potentially weird one: my mother in law passed away in front of my building in February and my wife and I were out of town at the time. Here we are in July and nearly all the dust from dealing with something like that has settled but the one thing that’s been hard to reconcile is that a neighbor found her and tried to resuscitate her while waiting for the paramedics to arrive. We spoke to him the week after but I feel like he’s probably traumatized in a whole other way than we are. We haven’t spoken since and I just feel like that shouldn’t be how it is. What do you do for someone that tried to save your mother/ mother in law but basically saw her die if she wasn’t dead already? I can’t find anything on google beyond writing a nice letter to them commending them but that seems way too little.
Anyone have any ideas or even experience with anything like this?
my uncle has been battling a brain tumor for about 10 months or so (he has had radiation, and taken a chemo pill for an extended period of time), today he went in for an appointment and was told the tumor has gotten bigger and he only has 6-9 months left to live. Currently I’m still processing it, but I figure closer to the holidays is when I’ll start to feel some type of way about it. I just couldn’t imagine being given a timeline of how much time you have left to live. I guess it does give you time to prepare for life without the person, but also anxious because it could happen sooner/later, you just don’t know.
I’m gonna be there as much as I can for him, but also want to give him space, as it is a lot to go through initially, and everyone copes with something like that differently.
Damn, i'm sorry bud. My uncle actually was just give 6-12 months to live too. Just gotta try to spend as much time with them as possible I suppose.
It's crazy how you get older and your family just starts droppin'. My mom passed away, three grandparents and an uncle just from ages 18-27
even classmates tbh, I have had numerous classmates pass away in the last few years too. None I’ve been close with that affected me in any way, it’s just crazy to think about that it will start to happen more and more consistently as we age.
Yeah I can think of like 4 classmates who died from car crashes. Crazy.
With the death of my uncle and multiple health scares in my mom’s family, it became very clear this year that we are reaching the point where that part of my family will start to die off. Maybe not tomorrow but definitely in the next 10 - 15 years. I mean, fuck, in 11 years I won’t even be 40 my mom will be 80. That’s fucked up and I hate thinking about it.
also, being one of nine children has been such an amazing thing and the thought of losing my siblings terrifies me. It’s crazy for me to think that one day there will just be one left. That just makes me so lonely when I think about it
Aside from my dad passing away 11 years ago I haven’t had any close relatives die, so I’m curious how I will manage emotionally/mentally once it slowly starts to happen.
I have an (irrational?) fear of death....I really don't want to die, at least not anytime soon, and taht combined with my anxiety around my heart has turned me into a bit of a hypochondriac now. Trying to figure out what feelings/pains/etc. I have are real vs. just my anxiety really sucks.
I worry about my mom all the time because she was a 30 year smoker, has worked hard manual labor her whole life, and has some minor health issues she refuses to get checked out. I really hope she's still here to see her new grandson graduate high school but the pessimist in me doesn't think she makes it 18 years from now, which really sucks to think about.
Do you mind if I ask why you have anxiety regarding your heart? Cause I am totally the same way and it fucking drives me insane. My dad died of a heart attack and I know my blood pressure isn’t great so I just expect to drop at any moment. I’ll be at work and I’ll get a random pain and I’ll be like, “welp. This is it.” Lol
we talked about this before I think but that’s how my dad passed away too. Honestly, I haven’t worried about heart problems yet, but I know as I get older I’ll probably get more paranoid about them. My half brother (dads side) has had heart problems and he’s about 40, but he has dealt with alcoholism, so I think a lot of the issue can be attributed to that.
Kind of a long story here so bear with me....
So between the ages of 13 and 20, I would have episodes roughly 1-3 times a year where my heart would get stuck in overdrive, for lack of a better term. It would be when I was doing something athletic, my heart would jump to a rate north of 180, probably 200+, and it wouldn't slow down. Then a few minutes later, instead of gradually slowing down, it would suddenly slow back down to a normal, active rate. The last time it happened at age 20, it scared the shit out of me, and the next time I played football with friends, I gave myself what I now realize is a panic attack thinking it was about to happen. I basically stopped doing anythnig athletic that day that required me to give 100% effort because I was scared of whatever it was. And keep in mind I had told my doctor about this and he never really had an answer for me. Sent me to a cardiologist once and I had some stress tests done and wore a monitor and nothing ever showed up.
Flash forward to 4 years ago, I was participating in a dodgeball tourney at the school I was working at, and it happened again. First time in almost 8 years. that was a Friday. I tried going into work the next Monday and I had a panic attack. I called my cardiologist and he bumped my appointment up. He told me it sounded like I had something called Supra-Ventricular Tachycardia. Said my sudden loss in quality of life due to the extreme panic/anxiety I was having meant he was suggesting we try catheter ablation surgery. Another doctor in his practice had to go in with catheters and basically raise my heart rate to see if the electronics in my heart were funky anywhere. After the surgery he said it was hard to trigger anything, but that one part of my heart where SVT symptoms commonly come from did KIND of spark up a little, so he ablated it (basically used the catheters to burn that electrode or whatever in my heart to keep it from firing), and that my problem should be solved.
The recovery time for that surgery is about 10 days, but I ended up out of work for liek 2 months because I developed SEVERE anxiety that I had never had. I was having panic attacks any time my heart rate went up even a little bit. It was awful. Took a couple months of intensive 2 day a week therapy and me going to the school I was working at just to expose myself to that environment again for me to get working again (I was a substitute teacher at the time).
But...ever since then, my worry over every little thing wrong with my body has skyrocketed. Lately I've felt, or at least least I THINK, like my left hand has been weak and uncoordinated lately, the vision in my left has has gone slightly blurry seemingly overnight, and I get a numb feeling in the tip of two of my toes on my right foot once in a while. My hypochondriac mind has been going like immediately to worst case scenarios like diabetes or worse nervous system shit (like ALS), and it's crazy because I don't even know if my left hand really is like that or if I'm just tricking myself. I want to believe it's stress/anxiety related because it's the start of the school year and I'm settling in still but...yeah.
Apparently the idea of death gets less scary the older you get. To me, right now, it's pretty scary. But to my elders, it's just a fact of life. I wish you all godspeed in finding eternal happiness and bliss.