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Death • Page 6

Discussion in 'General Forum' started by Dominick, Aug 30, 2016.

  1. marsupial jones

    make a bagel without the hole

    My grandma was put in hospice two days ago and was originally given six months.

    Today they told us she has maybe 7 days.

    We know she’s been getting worse at a frightening rate over the last year but of course it sucks to know it’s finally time / here.
     
  2. Dog with a Blog

    Guest

    I think about my own mortality far too much. To the point of annoyance. Every fucking day I can’t help but think of the passage of time. I think about how ten years ago I was 16 and how distant that seems, yet, at the same time I feel like it went by in a blip. I absolutely hate it. I didn’t think about death all the time until my dad died. Now it’s been like three years of this shit. I know I need to just accept it, but I’m terrified of aging. I genuinely wish I could live forever lol. I just love life too much and I hate thinking about not being able to live this life despite its ups and downs
     
  3. GrantCloud

    Prestigious Prestigious

    today 13 years ago is when my dad passed away, it’s actually pretty surreal I can still picture the scenario crystal clear when I got the news about it. 13 years is a pretty long time, but I still have random days where I think about him and get upset. They are more few and far between as time passes, but it’s one of those things that I’m sure I won’t be able to shake.

    Honestly what hurts the most/hardest part is that my nephews never met him, I just know he would be the happiest grandfather to those boys, man.
     
  4. Dog with a Blog

    Guest

    Sorry, Cloud.
     
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  5. marsupial jones

    make a bagel without the hole

    grandma passed away this morning. a bit surreal even when you've known for over a year that it's quickly approaching.

    in the elevator by myself at work today it made me sad to realize that i don't even know her actual fucking name. she's just always been "grandma".
     
    chewbacca110 likes this.
  6. chewbacca110

    He wrenches on it. He thinks it's his.

    I am sorry for your loss. My grandmas passed on Friday, so I feel your pain. I wish you well.
     
  7. marsupial jones

    make a bagel without the hole

    sorry for your loss as well!

    i've never really dealt with a family member passing before, so this is new territory for me and pretty much my entire extended family so i'm not sure how everyone will be at Christmas. also not sure if this will put a damper on future Christmases seeing as this event will kind of coincide with the holidays, which sucks.
     
  8. marsupial jones

    make a bagel without the hole

    funeral for my grandma today and since this was only the second funeral i've attended, and first since 2007, i didn't know what the protocol was or what all was going to happen. event wise everything went fine.

    what was weird though, is that i've always believed / like the idea of an afterlife and spirits and ghosts and whatnot, but idk, after everything today, i think i've lost that belief. i am not spiritual or religious at all. not quite atheist, more agnostic if anything, but while sitting there listening to psalms and songs and the director / church leader guy talking i realized that my grandma is gone. and gone is gone. she wasn't / isn't in the urn, she wasn't / isn't looking down on us. she's gone and that's that. i didn't feel moved or impacted in any way during any of the activities and i kind of thought, "when you die, you're dead. that's it. your spirit may be somewhere, but it's not anywhere close to here anymore" and i'm not sure if that's disappointing or what i've always kind of thought.
     
  9. chewbacca110

    He wrenches on it. He thinks it's his.

    I feel that.

    It’s funny. When the pastor spoke during my grandmas funeral last week, my sister looked over at me and said “you know, since dad passed and now grandma... I think I’m starting to believe”. Our dad passed 3 years ago so I see the connection but I had to do everything in my power to not roll my eyes in the moment.

    That said: what I’ve learned in the last 3 years is how religion and, more specifically, belief in an afterlife help the living. It’s not for me at all: I believe when you’re dead it’s lights out. But it does help a lot of people cope and I don’t want to be the asshole that wants to demean that for people who are coping with grief.
     
  10. marsupial jones

    make a bagel without the hole

    Definitely agree with your last paragraph @chewbacca110. I actually thought during the activities “this is why so much art focuses on death and the possibilities after it happens - they’re all coping mechanisms in some shape or form”.

    If what we went through today helps my grandpa or mom or any of my cousins or other family members, then that’s totally awesome. I personally took nothing out of it but we do these things and have all this work done (meals, visiting hours, speeches, etc.) so others can cope and move past what has happened.
     
  11. iCarly Rae Jepsen

    run away with me Platinum

    an afterlife seems like torture to me personally, like life fucking sucks and it's nice to think there's finality, like what can you do in heaven for eternity without getting bored
    I think reincarnation or karma feels better
    but I have no clue I'm very much agnostic versus being an atheist


    also sorry for your losses guys
     
  12. Dog with a Blog

    Guest

    Yeah, I remember when my dad died I almost wished that I was religious cause so many of my family members were finding comfort that I was not. It’s really interesting what death can do to your belief structure. For me, I already believed in nothing and, if anything, those feelings were reinforced. For some of my family though, their faith was strengthened. It can honestly get frustrating at times though. Like, my dad had mentioned in passing that when he died he wanted to come back as a hummingbird. It just so happened that at his funeral there were multiple hummingbirds chilling by us and some of my sisters were absolutely convinced that that was my dad or some sign or some shit. That night I went home and looked up online hummingbirds in that area and how common they are and all that shit and in that particular area it is incredibly common. It meant nothing. I didn’t tell them that cause they were finding comfort but to me it’s just so silly.
     
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  13. Dog with a Blog

    Guest

    Like Ian, I think the afterlife sounds awful, but unlike Ian that’s because I wish I could live forever on earth
     
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  14. incognitojones

    Some Freak Supporter

    I believe in reincarnation, or some form of repeating timeline existences, or even just living the same life on a loop more and more. There's obviously no way to understand any form of eternal happiness, but it sounds like such a basic human concept to begin with.

    The odds of having consciousness and being alive should be staggering, but we beat those odds because we're here and alive and being conscious. It only makes sense, given infinite time, that we'd beat those odds again and live in some form in some universe as some other thing for a temporary period of time.

    I also just very much believe that karma is super straightforward. When you do a good thing you feel better, when you do bad things you yourself and others around you suffer. That gets tested when I see liars and thieves living great lives, but I can only hope they're torn up inside feeling worthless, and that it all comes back to them at some point.

    Anyway, lucky to be here, will be lucky to be somewhere if we get something next.
     
  15. Dog with a Blog

    Guest

    I’m of the belief that I was in nothingness before I was here and I will return to that nothingness. But if I do return in some form, that would be rad, I guess. Maybe I’ll come back as a person next time
     
  16. marsupial jones Dec 28, 2018
    (Last edited: Dec 28, 2018)
    marsupial jones

    make a bagel without the hole

    I’ve always been fascinated with reincarnation. How many times have I lived on earth? What was I before? What will I be next? And I don’t remember the religion that has the “reincarnation ladder” where if you lived a good life you come back as better than you were and if you were a piece of shit you get downgraded to a toilet seat but that always fascinated me as well and I liked the general idea of that. Like, who did Abraham Lincoln come back as? Has he come back yet? Is there a long waiting list? Can you move up and down the list? Is Steve Jobs back as a newborn baby or is he still waiting?

    Part of what bums me out is that I really have spent a lot of time thinking about haunted places and spirits and whatnot and I’m like “yeah, I can’t see grandma haunting their old house or something after all of this” and maybe that feeling will change but I’m kind of like “huh, those fun escapes into ‘what if’s’ seem like dead ends (no puns meant) now to me.”
     
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  17. Dog with a Blog

    Guest

    I’m not religious or spiritual at all and I still love reading about haunting and stuff. I used to work at a movie theatre built in the 30’s and there are a lot of stories about that place and even though I don’t think the occurrences can be attributed to ghosts, I still love hearing about em.
     
  18. incognitojones

    Some Freak Supporter

    The only thing that bugs me about that kind of reincarnation is that it reinforces inequality. Like all people born rich into great situations in a past life were great, so they deserve all this excess shit they have, and all poor people were bad people in the past so they deserve to be poor now. It reinforces the idea that the status quo is fine, we should never try to help others because they deserve the shit they get in life, and even if you are handed everything you have by means of being born into a rich family you have no need to change or give to others because it is inherently deserved based on some past life we have no knowledge of.

    Its fucked and would indicate an unjust universal system, but maybe an unjust universal system is fitting for an unjust universe.
     
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  19. iCarly Rae Jepsen

    run away with me Platinum

    The Good Place has really fucked up my sense of how good one can truly be on this planet for it to count towards an afterlife
     
  20. Nyquist

    I must now go to the source Supporter

    This is the one that honestly terrifies me the most and also majorly bums me out. I can’t remember where I read it, but the idea is that the universe contracts and expands. So you’re born, you’re here, you live, you die, the universe continues on without you for years until it can expand no further and then it contracts upon reaching its end point annnnnd...you’re born, you’re here, you live, you die, the universe continues on without you for years until it can expand no further...so on and so forth.

    And the real kicker is you never know it’s happening so we all just keep living the same exact life making the same exact mistakes over and over again. All those times in your life when you think “sure wish I could go back and change that.”

    Good news! Technically you have that chance!

    Bad news! You’ll never know it! Congrats on making the same shitty mistakes ten billion times over and always ending up in the same place thinking “sure wish I could go back and change that.”
     
  21. incognitojones

    Some Freak Supporter

    Yeah it connects back to free will being an illusion. If there's only one way for everything to go, and we just live the same life over and over again without change, free will is not real and we're just inhales and exhales along for the ride. The only solace in that is you get to choose your perspective within the ride, kind of like positive nihilisim. This might be trash but this is all I'll ever have and at least I get to taste whatever life is.
     
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  22. Dog with a Blog

    Guest

    We’re getting in The Dark Tower territory
     
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  23. Kiana

    Goddamn, man child Prestigious

    The thought of not existing terrifies me even tho I wouldn't say I especially love life. I mean I didn't exist before and obviously I didn't know it or feel anything lol, but I guess the finality scares me. I don't believe in an afterlife and it freaks me out to think of people as just being gone. I don't really know how to cope with that. Like not even the grief aspect because I haven't had to truly deal with that yet, but just the idea of ceasing to exist. I imagine it feels like nothing just as I felt nothing before I was born, but it's hard to picture my consciousness just being gone. Idk. In that sense I can see how religion and an afterlife helps people cope.
     
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  24. Carmen SD

    Trusted

    Sometimes I feel like I had a past life of where I lived in the 20s-50s or somewhere around there. I’m more in to antiques/things from the past than modern things. There’s nothing that comes to mind that ever got me interested in old stuff except that I’ve always liked it.

    But like stated above I hate the idea of how we live good/bad lives based off our previous life. My life was terrible growing up and is stable now but I still have issues and I wonder if I did something in a past life that was bad so I’m being punished for it now.
     
  25. Dog with a Blog

    Guest

    Tomorrow marks 4 years since my dad died. I tend not to make a big deal of it, it’s just a day, I guess. But damn, time flies
     
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