(Reasons We're Probably Not) Dating Or In A Relationship Thread NSFW • Page 421

I'm eavesdropping and my friend keeps bringing up her ex with this new guy and I'm like oh sis u are so on the rebound it's not even funny.

 

Just met up with a girl from tinder, we get along really well but I'm not very attracted to her. We made out and it was fun, but she's super inexperienced and I'm not sure how comfortable I feel about potentially being FWB's.

 

Only one way to find out.

On a serious note, I guess it depends why you're unsure on your comfort level. If you're worried about the whole thing because of her inexperience (unsure exactly what you're referring to there), then maybe it's best to bow out.

 

Also interested in this inexperience? Did she give you a literal blow job? IE. just blew air on your pecker?

 

Oh god that happened to me and it's hilarious

 

wait...what?

 

"All of which is to say that the differing ways of understanding love versus "just" friendship leads to a lot of hyper-calibrating, mostly in the interest of advancing the idea that romantic love surpasses everything else, and as if feeling could be endlessly and easily modulated."

Friendship in the Time of Love | Yasmin Nair

 

Holy shit I'm so drunk and just texted my very first ex. SAVE ME.

 

Woof. You have to move now. How'd that go / what lead you to doing that?

 

relationships suck ass. they cause nothing but heartbreak and drama when they end. fuck em im done ill stay single forever

 

Did you spend the night rolling around. drunk on the floor with your dog and texting your ex?

 

Haha shhhh. But honestly she's just a cool person and I haven't talked to her in awhile. No left over feelings or anything like that.

Butalsowehavecrazysexualchemistryand10/10wouldbangokaybye

 

I know there's a couple people on here that work long hospital shifts.

Been seeing this girl recently who has been working as a scribe at our hospital while also finishing her undergrad so she can go to Med School. I really like her so I wanna spend time with her, but also her schedule is crazy and I don't wanna seem pushy. I think I'm doing pretty ok but if anyone has any tips or suggestions that'd be cool!

 

Just can't do this shit anymore. I'm alone in the most literal sense. I have no one where I'm at. The dating scene here is abysmal to navigate. I quit.

 

The girl that I saw is just very inexperienced in any sort of physical affection, like she hadn't even made out with somebody before. She was very sweet and we had a lot in common, but the whole thing just made me realize that I'm definitely not ready to be intimate with someone new yet. I still have a lot of work to do on myself and I don't want to hurt anyone along the way.

 

My girlfriend suffers from anxiety and deals with a lot of stress in her life with a hectic work schedule with two high-stress jobs... I can relate because I deal with anxiety too to a lesser extent. We both live in Southern California but still more than an hour's drive away from each other, and neither of us have cars right now, so we don't get to see each other too often... it's basically a long-distance relationship for now at least.

I really try to be supportive of her when she's having a bad day or dealing with issues in her life, while also understanding that she's often too stressed or dealing with too much else in her life to really be able to spend a lot of time talking to me or texting me. I've been trying to give her the space she needs as she's been dealing with her anxiety, but I feel like the more space I give her the more distant we grow... and I don't see that distance really going away unless something changes. She often doesn't seem to communicate when she has a problem unless I really encourage her too, and I feel sometimes like I'm doing 80% of more of the honest communication in our relationship. In the last week or so we've barely been in touch, and she won't respond to me for most of the day sometimes. I know long-distance relationships take a lot of patience at times, and I do really care about her, but I guess what I'm wondering is at what point should I be worried that she has a problem with our relationship as opposed to just being busy with her own life? She says nothing is wrong, but honestly I feel like she would say that regardless and I don't really know how to get her to open up more with any problems she may have.

 

Apparently my ex girlfriend is facebook official with the new guy. Found out from my mom, feels fucking great. Just gotta ride this wave of sadness and bitterness. Feel like I'm living my own personal hell. All of my fears are coming to life and it's the worst.

 

Sounds like it would be more sensible to back away in that case. Partly because it sounds like you're not right with it yet, but also because I can't imagine that someone in her position is going to take a friends with benefits situation at all well.

 

I don't post in this thread because of people who use the word "inexperienced" (among others).

 

I'm sorry you're going through that. It's (one of) my biggest fears as well. My wife and I have been living apart since mid February and while I clearly still call her my wife, I'm not sure if she feels the same way or not. Like I don't know, and she doesn't know, what this whole situation is. Are we supposed to be seeing other people? Are we together still and not seeing other people? And if so, is that just because it's easier for you to think that, but as soon as a new guy comes into the picture, that's it? I just get the feeling I'm being kept on a rather loose leash until she makes up her mind.

But to wrap back to your point, yeah, the day that happens I'll be a mess and again, I'm sorry you have to go through that.

 

I'm sorry I really don't know how to phrase that. Don't want to offend anybody or anything, just thought I'd bring it up because I didn't know how to handle it. That wasn't really too big of a deal for me, it was mostly my own insecurities.

 

Yeah that's exactly the impression I got after we met up. But I texted her about it and she seemed super understanding, so I think we're just gonna stay friends.

Sorry to hear that man, I hope whatever you guys decide is what's best for the both of you. I'm trying to stay as far removed from my ex's life as possible, but if my friends or family see something online or whatever I don't want to be kept in the dark either. I mean, I've known she was seeing someone for the last two or so months so all this Facebook status does is confirm that it's the guy I thought it was. I can't snoop myself because I'm certain it'll send me over the edge. I've got so many mixed feelings about everything, I'm so relieved that we're apart because it was unhealthy and taking a terrible toll on me, but I also still love her and miss her.

 

Yeah, I know exactly what you mean. My in-laws (both her parents and siblings) give me the whole "you'll always be a part of of lives" and "you'll always be a part of our family" nonsense, but they never ask if that's what I want. Like, it's not. If this doesn't work out, I'm like you, I want to be as far removed from her life as possible. We have an 18 month kid, so obviously she will always be a part of my life, but I don't need them hovering over me when I'm trying to figure out what I want. And I'm trying to figure out what I'm holding onto. Like you, I love and miss her, but I'm super anxious and angry all the time and I just want that to be over with.

Hope everything works out for you though.

 

It's also possible they're insecure about their lack of experience, I know I am

 

We really policing people's word choice in a thread talking about extremely intimate and personal issues? Sometimes love is complicated and people might not use the best word choice while working out their feelings, calm down thought police. Don't mean for that to sound aggressive, but I feel like a thread like this should be an environment where people aren't afraid to be open, and that can't happen if people get worked up over one word, when the intent of its usage was pretty obviously harmless.