Daily AMA • Page 26

Shrek · Jan 11, 2018

@dylan you're a heathen

Larry David · Jan 11, 2018

ChaseTx said:

Ian, is it acceptable that Dylan texted me after midnight last night

Is this true?!

Joe4th · Jan 11, 2018

ChaseTx said:

Ian, is it acceptable that Dylan texted me after midnight last night

What a fucking hypocrite

iCarly Rae Jepsen · Jan 11, 2018

dylan said:

@iCarly Rae Jepsen you're in a grocery store. you're in a rush to bring a snack to a persons party and you're running late. you bolt down the chip aisle and immediately get stopped due to a traffic jam. on the right side of the aisle is a little old lady with a framed picture of her now deceased husband sitting in the child's seat of the shopping cart. she brings it with her everywhere she goes. they were married for 53 years and they never spent a day apart. she's feeble. maybe 5'2" and 94 pounds. her hair is thinning and you can tell by the clothes she's wearing she has a moth problem in her senior living facility apartment and doesn't get out very much.

on the left side of the aisle is a worn and weary store manager and what appears to be a rather new employee. you can see by the loose knot in the tie he is wearing that he had a fight with his wife again this morning before leaving for work. his kid broke his juice glass at the breakfast counter and you can tell by the yellowed stain around the right leg cuff that the orange juice got on him as well and he changed clothes at the last minute, rushing to get to work on time. The new employee looks to be either a senior in high school or a freshman in college at the local community college three blocks over. she looks like she's living at home, with her single mom, who got her this job at the grocery store because her mother is a cashier here. at least part of this young woman's income is going to keep the heat on in her and her mother's one bedroom apartment.

Time is running out. You have to get down the aisle and get your bag of Sun Chips original flavor chips. Which do you do?:

kill the widowed woman and run down the right side of the aisle, but you then become cursed and have to keep the framed picture of her dead husband with at all times for the rest of your life

kill the manager and young employee and run down the right side of the aisle, but you have to marry the young woman's mother and raise the manager's child

turn sideways and try and scoot and squeeze between the two, BUT your crotch and your butt have to touch both people on either side of the aisle, and you have to make eye contact the entire time

Option 3, my days of murdering people for Sun Chips are behind me

iCarly Rae Jepsen · Jan 11, 2018

Garrett L. said:

is it the "dick bicycle/menage tricycle" rhyme?

Of course

Shrek · Jan 11, 2018

@dylan how can you make eye contact with the person who's getting the dick rub and the ass rub at the same time? are you the exorcist girl?

Larry David · Jan 11, 2018

If @dylan texted @ChaseTx past midnight last night, this proves that his Chorus life is a LIE. His rules are a LIE

iCarly Rae Jepsen · Jan 11, 2018

ChaseTx said:

Ian, is it acceptable that Dylan texted me after midnight last night

Are you a Gremlin?

My phone is always on silent so I don't care when people text

Ken · Jan 11, 2018

dylan said:

@iCarly Rae Jepsen you're in a grocery store. you're in a rush to bring a snack to a persons party and you're running late. you bolt down the chip aisle and immediately get stopped due to a traffic jam. on the right side of the aisle is a little old lady with a framed picture of her now deceased husband sitting in the child's seat of the shopping cart. she brings it with her everywhere she goes. they were married for 53 years and they never spent a day apart. she's feeble. maybe 5'2" and 94 pounds. her hair is thinning and you can tell by the clothes she's wearing she has a moth problem in her senior living facility apartment and doesn't get out very much.

on the left side of the aisle is a worn and weary store manager and what appears to be a rather new employee. you can see by the loose knot in the tie he is wearing that he had a fight with his wife again this morning before leaving for work. his kid broke his juice glass at the breakfast counter and you can tell by the yellowed stain around the right leg cuff that the orange juice got on him as well and he changed clothes at the last minute, rushing to get to work on time. The new employee looks to be either a senior in high school or a freshman in college at the local community college three blocks over. she looks like she's living at home, with her single mom, who got her this job at the grocery store because her mother is a cashier here. at least part of this young woman's income is going to keep the heat on in her and her mother's one bedroom apartment.

Time is running out. You have to get down the aisle and get your bag of Sun Chips original flavor chips. Which do you do?:

kill the widowed woman and run down the right side of the aisle, but you then become cursed and have to keep the framed picture of her dead husband with at all times for the rest of your life

kill the manager and young employee and run down the right side of the aisle, but you have to marry the young woman's mother and raise the manager's child

turn sideways and try and scoot and squeeze between the two, BUT your crotch and your butt have to touch both people on either side of the aisle, and you have to make eye contact the entire time

ChaseTx · Jan 11, 2018

Shrek · Jan 11, 2018

@dylan has been getting slammed the last day or so, the truth really is out there

tucah · Jan 11, 2018

ChaseTx said:

View attachment 13206

Joe4th · Jan 11, 2018

And there's the evidence. Prepare for the trial of Dulam Gibson

Larry David · Jan 11, 2018

Larry David said:

@iCarly Rae Jepsen Do you think @dylan actually follows through on some of his rules in real life or is it all an act?

ChaseTx said:

View attachment 13206

Shrek · Jan 11, 2018

The People v. OJ Gibson

Larry David · Jan 11, 2018

Joe4th said:

And there's the evidence. Prepare for the trial of Dulam Gibson

The sequel to this thread came early!

Ken · Jan 11, 2018

let's get back to Ian

Larry David · Jan 11, 2018

Ken said:

let's get back to Ian

I've already reached my quota. Enjoy

Kiana · Jan 11, 2018

dylan said:

except me

You are all lovely individuals. Together u all create a monster!!

Shrek · Jan 11, 2018

cause nobody wants to see Marshall no more

Joe4th · Jan 11, 2018

They want Ian, Dulam's chopped liver

iCarly Rae Jepsen · Jan 11, 2018

Larry David said:

I've already reached my quota. Enjoy

I may allow you to ask more with good behavior

Larry David · Jan 11, 2018

iCarly Rae Jepsen said:

I may allow you to ask more with good behavior

Was I misbehaved?!

iCarly Rae Jepsen · Jan 11, 2018

Larry David said:

Was I misbehaved?!

I feel like Larry David would want a limit on the number of questions

Larry David · Jan 11, 2018

iCarly Rae Jepsen said:

I feel like Larry David would want a limit on the number of questions

Why do you always need to make good points, Ian?

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Daily AMA • Page 26

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