If you're abusive while being addicted to drugs it's because you're a shitty human being, not because you can't stop getting high.
fwiw I appreciate it. I had no idea before I saw that post, and had been enjoying the album up to that point. Now have some thinking to do.
If you're abusing people while on drugs, you're still a shitty person. There's a ton of addicts that have struggled that don't resort to abuse, so fuck off with that shit.
The situation with his first wife was only 4-5 years ago and he was well into his late 20's and as recently as last year he is STILL blaming her for cheating on him (I very well remember all the mysoginist shaming tirades he went on repeatedly after it happened so he's been doing this for YEARS) with no mention or evidence of his atonement or effort to own up to his abusive nature or support survivors beyond peoples seeming magically know all assumptions. It'd be a lot easier to just admit you don't care about supporting abusers and mysoginists than writing gross novels about why it's okay to continue to support abusers and mysoginists.
Really enjoying this EP. It's the only thing that's really giving me energy to get work done in the last few days. I could have Kingslayer on repeat over and over, that song is so good. I really enjoy pretty much all of the work this band has done, but this one feels extra special for some reason. I hope they continue down this heavier style with electronics mixed in.
Genuine question, and this isn't just directed at you because I'm sure others in this thread would have great things to contribute. Assuming that it isn't productive just to eschew everyone who has made mistakes from society, what would his, or any figure in his position's route to forgiveness be? Is there any way he could meaningfully acknowledge and atone for his actions in a way that would allow everyone to move forward? Obviously I don't feel the inherent need to defend him or any other abuser so this isn't just me begging for a way that I can love this band and not feel guilty.
That depends on what a given person has actually done and is also up to the survivors and other people that were wronged to decide, not me or anyone else.
You won't get a legitimate solid answer on this - people would rather just eschew everyone these days. Forgiveness is a thing of the past in this society.
Yeah and there are a ton that have. A lot of addicts have ptsd, sexual, verbal, physical trauma that manifest itself in behaviors that mimic their abuse while they cope with drugs and alcohol. People can change, people can be bad people and work on themselves. I am in human services I work with people that made mistakes due to coocurring disorders, addiction, and painful experiences. It’s a beautiful thing to watch someone change their life around. You’re telling me that no addict has ever had demons or regretted something that they’ve done? That there is no path worthy of forgiveness? That there is no possibility of unresolved anger, ptsd, dissociative disorders? That’s a shit take. Stop virtue signaling. We don’t know shit about what happened
Shit comeback cause you know it’s a good argument. People can change and I’m not gonna like go to bat for the guy, but it certainly looks like he has changed.
There are two key details in this situation that I think everyone should pay attention to. One you touched on in your last sentence. We DONT know anything about what happened. There arent many details about what occurred out there and assuming that Oli has some big unresolved issues that explain away any terrible behaviour is as bad as writing him off as a piece of shit for all of this. Second is that there is a huge difference between the average person who deals with their issues in a destructive way and a person who has a very large platform who is doing the same thing. I dont think Oli is beyond forgiveness but that doesnt mean he should still be in the position he is in. Supporting him now is sending the message that survivors of abuse dont matter as much as your entertainment. Ive also seen absolutely zero evidence that he has changed or is even attempting to change, So dont pull that card without a fucking link.
good point, and I didn’t come in here to start an argument. I think it’s a great album, but also I am not defending a rich white man. I’m just saying we don’t know enough to condemn or congratulate this guy. So let it be, if there is more it will come out. If he’s sober and happy and she’s sober and happy and they’re no longer in an abusive relationship great. I know that oli did talk about a lot of therapy and getting sober IS a lot of work. In the program of AA, refuge recovery, mindfulness, and smart therapy we see the roles we play in all our shortcomings. I’m sure getting sober, he has done that. Maybe he hasn’t. Maybes he’s a shitbag. I don’t know the guy. And neither do any of you.
I am not defending anyone. I do not know Oli Sykes and neither do you. A link to a fucking article from a website that looks like it was made on angelfire is not courtroom evidence. This dude probably did stupid shit, but maybe he grew and learned from it. Maybe he didn’t. Again WE DONT KNOW THE GUY
The hoops people will jump through to listen to an abusive artist continues to be astounding People can change. Sure. But that doesn’t mean you should keep your massive platform and continue to profit off it. But whatever y’all. You clearly have it all figured out and are quick to assume he’s changed when there’s been zero evidence of it
Yes, we dont know him, but personally, I like to air on the side of the victim. The consequences of supporting him if he is actually an unrepentant abuser is that his victim(s) feel worthless and others like him feel empowered. The consequences of not supporting him is that one rich white guy loses his platform. Basically comes down to what world you would rather live in and to me, the answer is obvious.
absolutely agree with all of that, I believe the victim. We don’t know the story though, there were no charges pressed, both parties claimed the other was abusive, and both have moved on. I’d like to also point out the Johnny Depp accusations and how it turned out Amber Heard was the abusive one. I’m not saying this is the case just saying we do not have an insight into this story besides clips from gossip websites.
much love man. Keep fighting the good fight. I can see your heart is in the right place even if we disagree on this.
How. In what way has he changed. Nobody has provided a single example aside from "He doesn't abuse people anymore." Which, I wake up and don't abuse people every day, where's my pat on the back for that. Praise me too Mort!