Banana Thread • Page 2

Second favorite fruit (after watermelon). So, basically, this news causes me a lot of pain:

Bye, bye, bananas

 

Healthy? Check.

Affordable? Check.

Tasty? Check.

Convinient/Portable? CHECK.

 

Extinct? In Process.

 

TOO SOON

 

You're bananas.

 

Oh shit, dude. I had a banana today

 

Came in here to see the Jesse banana photo. Leaving a bit disappointed.

 

Hey, I bought bananas today!

(Blinks)

Shit, my bananas went bad.

 

Here you go:

 

Here is my poem "Pretty Tired of Bananas"

Pretty Tired of Bananas

I'm getting pretty tired of bananas.
Every day I pack one for work
in a blue plastic grocery bag,
and at my desk I unwrap it
with intentions to peel
but it just sits there.
A banana.

The rubber skin grows brown spots,
becoming leopard fur, then ochre camouflage,
and my stomach wrings itself in jest.
I'm just tired of bananas.
I'm tired of their mushy texture,
their almost-sweet flavor,
the earthy smell of their rinds.
Bananas. They should ban bananas.

But sometimes I pick it up,
run my thumb against it's faux-latex jacket,
yank on its levered stub,
and disrobe it.
Take three bites and wear down the arc.
My teeth along the fruit
feels like shaving a thick jelly.

I'm done. The naked and beheaded plantain
buried in the trash.
I can't finish it.

Bananas, man.
Fuck bananas.

 

God-tier banana utilization by Real Estate

 

In high school, one of the mandatory classes was Health Education where we learned about drugs, sex, etc. We had a lesson where we had to learn how to put condoms on. We used Bananas, but these weren't your usual bananas, these were plastic bananas. You pulled off the top and there was a plastic dick inside of the yellow casing (kind of like a really unimaginative dildo) Long story short, never been able to eat a Banana since. I just can't. I can eat things that are made with banana like bread, cream pie, etc, but I can't eat a banana by itself.

 

Bananas are awesome, I especially love sticking like half a spoon of peanut butter on the top with each bite. Went through a phase where I ate that for breakfast like every day haha

 

Banana popsicles > All other popsicles

 

bananas are necessary in most milkshakes or smoothies