Accountability in Music • Page 991

we determined it was all, or almost all, venues that disabled comments, probably as part of the agreement for the tour. AEG still has a few posts without comments disabled that I've been annoying in and I emailed Mission Ballroom with the original pitchfork article and the new one asking if they'll cancel the show or at least not make it all ages given what he's done. I don't expect a response or them to do anything, but I'm gonna be annoying about it.

 

His ass should be on a fucking list

 

Well he’s top three on the Reddit’s Favorite Pedos list

 

I've actually seen a lot of good discussion around it. Instead of people just blindly defending Jesse.

 

It’s a nice surprise seeing people in my life who aren’t involved in this site sharing the story.

 

I’ve been shouting back at idiots defending him for a bit today. I’m doing my part.

 

The pictures really hit it home. People sometimes invent this "some teen girls look like grown women!! How are men supposed to know the difference?!" Narrative, which is an argument with its own issues, but like excuse me those photos look like an entire grown man who in any other context could be a dude with a home in the suburbs with a 401k, with an actual child who looks like a child. Like I had young teen parents and those photos could easily be like me and my dad when I was a teen. Barf. (Directed at Jesse, not at the girl and her family that were groomed)

 

Yeah. Unfortunately the Reddit threads have mostly been ignorant assholes. It has absolutely sparked productive conversations in my group chats though. I personally know multiple people that bought tickets during the presale who no longer plan to attend.

 

If nothing else comes of this, I'm glad my story was finally the straw that broke the camel's back for some people who considered supporting this band further. And for the greater conversation that is happening.

 

Calling his behavior a “grey area” and then taking a hardline stance and exhibiting full judgment against the parents who let their kids hang out with him is some wild mental gymnastics. That’s why I genuinely believe that they aren’t arguing to logically convince anyone. They’re just trying to hijack and stall and deflect the critical conversation so it can’t go on.

 

I kind of think this thread should be moderated like the news thread is right now. What I was getting at with the "define its purpose" post a few days ago was that it could be defined more explicitly and enforced. And it would involve making sure blatant bad faith posts are deleted and also that posts from strangers or sus seeming posts that may or may not be good faith are interrogated by regulars in a calm tone, and if it becomes clear that they are not good faith they're deleted/threadbanned if there's a ton of back and forth. And yeah that'd mean no dunking, which I know someone said was catharsis and believe me I get it, but it doesn't really seem like that is the communally agreed intended purpose of this thread when we drill down on it.

The thread's had a really appropriate tone since Aiyana posted, but I think most would agree it's likely to lapse back to the way it was earlier this week. Just an idea for how we might prevent that, if we wanted to. And I get why you wouldn't.

And big ups to Aiyana for posting her story and talking to us here, I don't want to seem like I'm ignoring any of the specifics in favor of meta discussion...I just don't have too much to contribute re: BN specifically

 

By all means, don't let me take over this 1000 page thread, or feel that the conversation needs to stick to what's happening this weekend. I am just so grateful to have a space to engage with people who are willing to offer their support. Maybe I'll stick around! I haven't been an active participant of a forum since the BN Street Team, lmao.

 

I wouldn't be surprised if the disabled comments thing was part of an agreement. Pathetic all around. I sent Mission an email too. We'll see if they respond.

 

it’s a chill place. It’s the one forum I routinely come back to.

 

another thing I’ve been thinking about is that if Jesse has indeed been going to therapy and working on himself, that’s great - it’s a difficult step going to therapy and getting help. but that isn’t accountability. that isn’t actively apologising and making amends to the survivors, whatever that looks like. he hasn’t abided by anyone’s wishes but his own. the band isn’t promoting charities for victims of sexual assault or something similar. this whole reunion is so self serving and such a shameless cash grab. like someone else said, if he’d done the work to actually make it up to the survivors or do public work, maybe the tour wouldn’t be such a gross thing to do. until he makes amends and public good work - which I highly doubt he’ll do - he should not have the same public platform that allowed him access young, vulnerable, impressionable young girls. it’s heinous that his actions have been enabled and protected by so many.

 

I don't think we'll get another public statement, but the only silver lining I can think of is that this article is what leads him to personally reach out to the women he's harmed to attempt restitution and have an honest face-to-face conversation to make things right regarding the damage he's done. The victims are way stronger than I am, because if someone ever hurt me on that level, I'd never want to see their face again, much less ever speak to them. I don't even know what he could say that would resolve the pain he's caused, because I would have only hate in my heart.

Again – tiny sliver of chance that this even happens, but it would be the most productive outcome.

 

Restorative justice - Wikipedia

This is what I would prefer.

"Restorative justice differs from traditional criminal justice in terms of the guiding questions it asks. In restorative justice, the questions are:

1. Who has been hurt?
2. What are their needs?
3. Whose obligations are these?
4. What are the causes?
5. Who has a stake in the situation?
6. What is the appropriate process to involve stakeholders in an effort to address causes and put things right?

In contrast, traditional criminal justice asks:

1. What laws have been broken?
2. Who did it?
3. What do the offender(s) deserve?"

 

Reminds me of Justin Sane from Anti-Flag. Preached endlessly about women feeling safe at shows etc and turned out be a colossal abusive piece of shit

 

My coworker who flew to Nashville for the Jesse solo show is now not going to the reunion show because this story shined a light on the whole thing that he somehow didn’t process at first. Glad to see people are finally realizing how fucked this really is.

 

So serious question since it seems you genuinely don't seem like you want his career ended. What does the path look like to you that would make you feel at peace? Is is solely something from Jesse or from the band as a whole? I argued for so long that he'd put in work in therapy before the allegations and I thought that should be good enough. I was wrong but would like to know the path. Sorry if I rambled.

 

Also if you aren't comfortable answering that I fully respect that.

 

Thanks for asking such a thoughtful question, it’s been important for me to reflect on what would actually bring me peace after all of this.

For me, accountability starts with a restorative justice process. This would involve Jesse or someone on his behalf reaching out to me and the other victims (if they're open to it) in a private, facilitated process where we can be heard and the harm fully acknowledged. RJ isn't about public apologies or damage control, it’s about understanding what happened and taking full responsibility. If he’s unwilling to engage in that, then I would still need a public, clear acknowledgment of the specific harm caused—something that names exactly what happened, how he hurt people, and why it matters (though I doubt this will happen due to legal concerns).

The tour and all public-facing projects should be paused until this process has been addressed. It feels retraumatizing, to be honest, to watch him move on with his career as if nothing happened, when the harm was so significant. If he wants to continue performing, he should demonstrate real accountability first. That means putting everything else on hold until we see action that proves there’s been real work done behind the scenes.

I also believe financial reparations are necessary to address the damage done. This feels uncomfortable to name publicly but I think it’s important to acknowledge the long-term costs of the trauma I’ve experienced. The emotional and psychological impact of what I went through has been long-lasting and severe. Like I said in my story, I live with C-PTSD, which is the result of not JUST Jesse's abuse but also subsequent abuses by two other authority figures, one of whom sexually assaulted me. The trauma I’ve experienced has deeply affected my mental health, my ability to maintain jobs, how I approach relationships, sex, and my own self-worth, etc etc. I’ve spent years in therapy and on medication, and these ongoing costs should be acknowledged by those responsible for causing this harm. (this is a fundamental aspect of restorative justice: addressing and repairing the material damage done to someone's life)

A public condemnation of fanbase retaliation would also be nice. The harassment I’ve already experienced is terrifying, Jesse and the band need to make it clear to their fanbase that victim-blaming, online abuse, and any form of retaliation is unacceptable. There needs to be a loud and unambiguous statement condemning it so that survivors can feel safe, even in the aftermath of speaking out.

If Jesse truly wants to show he’s grown and learned, he should be willing to go through these steps. Otherwise, I don’t think he should be allowed to keep performing, as there’s been no real accountability or change.

 

Thank you very much for answering. I think that all of that is incredibly reasonable. I sincerely hope one day you can get closure from at least this portion of your life.

 

just a reminder: the above posts are what a nuanced discussion looks like, not when you come in here to do mental gymnastics for us like you're trying out for the circus.

Aiyana thank you for coming forward. I wish you peace.

 

Thank you for this post. For being here, even for a short time. It’s like I’ve internally known these were the things I expected to happen, wanted to happen, but having them written out so eloquently (and arguably with much grace) is very important. The band can stay dead for all I care, but it would be nice to see all of these steps taken one day for the sake of moving forward and showing what actual accountability looks like.