Accountability in Music • Page 990

I was assaulted by my friend’s roommate and she remains good friends with him to this day. It is definitely disappointing but I also know that life and relationships are very complicated so I’ve given her some grace as well… Idk it’s very hard to work through it all mentally for sure. Sorry to hear that about your wife’s friends as well.

 

I’ve never looked at Kevin the same way because he’s always posting about progressive politics. But when it’s time to actually show up in his “real life” he couldn’t even drop an abusive friend. Granted Brand New did a lot to raise his profile and help his career so maybe he feels indebted to them. But regardless, that’s still putting himself before victims.

And to me that shows how deep misogyny runs even in allegedly progressive spaces.

I remember around the time of the allegations he wrote some long post about forgiveness and addiction. Seemingly relating his own struggles with what Jesse was dealing with. But idk, isn’t part of recovery actually apologizing to people you’ve hurt and making amends? And at this point, we know Jesse hasn’t.

 

hlet

I've had very positive experiences with Kevin, and I didn't want to believe that he was complicit because I do believe abusers need someone to hold them accountable and honestly thought he was reacting the best he could to a situation he was just learning the depth of. It appears that was not the case. Once again, I failed by giving the benefit of the doubt to someone I didn't really know. And that's embarrassing. Everybody's gotta learn sometimes.

 

I had a lot more sympathy for the Kevin devines of the world when I just thought he was staying friends with his friend who had fucked up. It’s harder to square him turning a blind eye and thus actively allowing it to happen.

 

Surprisingly, the hardcore subreddit is behaving well about this. Far better than the other music subs I’ve seen so far.

 

Chilling, deeply unsettling stuff

 

Came to post myself. And the couple of random dipshits are getting downvoted contrary to elsewhere which is super refreshing. Ugh everywhere else is super disgusting.

 

It’s funny because that sub is often extremely stupid but enough of them seemingly at least have a bit of the hardcore ethics still. They’ll still call things “gay” as an insult, but will also tell racists and abusers they shouldn’t be welcome at show. What duality, lol.

 

As cynical as it is to say... it's probably just because hardcore fans don't like Brand New's music, which was never hardcore to begin with. If it were a band that was equally revered in their community, I don't think they'd be saying the same things.

 

Being so engaged in the Myspace era and working shows in the early 2000s, tbh I'm surprised more bands from that time haven't had more allegations against them.

I'm pretty thankful I was never that big into BN, because I know so many people in this community had such a strong connection with the band.

He was never on a pedostal for me.

 

so true I legit watched it happen like in real time with another band that’s got a lot of positive vibes on this sub….invite girls on to the tour bus and her bragging about performing favors when she came off the bus…definitely was not an uncommon thing in the early 00s

 

more common than uncommon tbh. I never had any direct experiences but I felt like most bands that were in the scene ended up creeping on/flirting with/sleeping with my hotter friends when they were teens

 

I think there’s a worthwhile theme developing as a minor sub-headline to all of this about the assumptions we make of people we don’t know because of the politics or charitable endeavors they put out into the world. It sucks and is disappointing, but it’s a worthwhile reminder that a lot of that stuff can be earnest and heartfelt and a lot of it can be performative and narrative shaping and isn’t always a great reason to doubt a victim or an accusation because someone “doesn’t seem that way.”

Not directed at anyone here in particular, just a small theme I’ve picked up on along the way.

 

Read the article. Fuck this dude, fuck the band, fuck the defenders. Insane bit to run OPSEC for an emo band like this. If I put that in a novel people would go "c'mon man that's not realistic."

Second, this has reminded me of something that I haven't thought about in years, but I need some help. Does anyone know if Jesse ever spent time around Lafayette Louisiana around the mid 2010s? This girl that used to follow me on insta (I never followed her back and I just checked and her account is either deleted or she stopped following me) had posted a video from her 16th(?) birthday party in which her favorite singer showed up to surprise her. There were also other posts about him being a mentor to her as a musician. In the video, he was a pretty plain looking white dude who was in a "popular" band and did solo stuff and wasn't local to the area. I remember thinking that was a little weird at the time but moved on. I was like 19-20 at the time and I didn't know this girl (who was a few years younger than me), why butt into her business?

In all likelihood, this guy I'm talking about probably isn't Jesse. Maybe this random singer did have an innocent mentor relationship with this girl. But basically every story I've seen about this man has been from the 2000s and now I'm worried that there's far more than those that we don't know about.

 

I know a bunch of em still fuck with Bane and that vocalist is a Weirdo.

 

should also remind to say not just this scene but musicians really in general

 

i remember a similar narrative happening when someone came forward about Noah Gundersen. she specifically said she wasn't looking to "cancel" him, but to remind people that anyone - no matter how nice or morally upstanding they may be - is capable of that kind of harm, and that it's probably far more common than we imagine.

that's why i have doubts about bands declining to open for BN because of "optics". we don't know these people personally, and their publicly-stated morals might not have a bearing on their private actions/thoughts, or what they might eventually do in a public-facing manner.

 

i also think people like jesse do a whole lot of lying to themselves. so, they might genuinely have all the right things politics and attitudes about the world but still find ways to deny their own culpability in harming others. lots of cognitive dissonance im sure.

 

it’s true, but I think this genre/scene in particular had the overlap of 1) emerging during the early wild wild west internet culture and 2) being a genre that highly appealed to young women, and that combo made it a real breeding ground.

 

I know I haven’t joined the chorus FUCK BRAND NEW in here as clearly as I should have been. But, FUCK BRAND NEW.

My inner conflict was completely based on nostalgia and want to that type of connection to music again. I’m thankful that I haven’t really listened to them in the last 8 years, apart from curiously seeing what these new shows were like in the past month. My discomfort and conflict was nothing compared to what his victims are feeling. I said to myself and to another friend who used to love Brand New, that I will never get the answer as to Jesse’s potential amends toward his victims, and that was enough for me not to go to a show or give them any more of my money.

I was wrong. This article, her courage to speak up and speak out (all of his victims have courage too), is the answer.

And I repeat: FUCK BRAND NEW.

 

Yyyyep. Iirc he’s been pretty big on lgbtq stuff for a while since his late son was trans, and obviously there were some allusions to a dislike for the Christian Right in lyrics past and on SciFi. It’s extremely frustrating when people like that can see how the way the world treats a certain group is fucked up but then can’t hold themselves accountable when they do something personally.

 

This is part of my connection and internal vague (1% of me) attempt to justify listening to them. As someone who has gone through significant deconstruction over the last decade, that has increased in speed exponentially over the last few years, it’s been hard to emotionally let go of my connection to some of those songs.

Thankfully I’ve been leaning into other music, and other types of media, that have helped to stay away from this shit.

 

The metalcore screamo bands of 2006-2010 (the ones with the obnoxious T-shirts… you know exactly what I mean) were some of the worst culprits. It’s a tough topic but some very vile dudes were in those bands. Thankfully majority of them are long broken up.

 

I'm still wondering how tf Craig Owens is still unscathed because my experience with my female friend when we were 15 was tame compared to shit I've heard.

 

The stuff I’ve heard about him is mostly along the lines of him “being a creep”. Are there any articles, posts, or stories you can link? I don’t remember any news about him.