Accountability in Music • Page 989

I heard about Kevin Devine, but not Andy. Very disappointing indeed.

 

sorry to be a day late, but a few years ago I was able to get into my old livejournal. I forget how but there was a process at the time.

I may have had to access my old aol email to do it, but I thought I was able to find a way around it. Like I thought I remembered talking with someone to get the email changed to my recent one and all that.

Sorry this isn’t much help, but trying to give you some hope of getting back into the account!

 

Kevin really surprises me. Like Justin Vernon, he’s one of those artists that seems to always be using his platform to promote safety and listen to survivors.

 

except when his friend is involved i guess!

 

Not even the sexual stuff specially, but those pictures in the article really had me going “what the fuck are they doing?” Because of the age thing. Like even if there was no grooming or sexual acts intended, you’re 29/30 years old hanging out and smoking weed through gas mask bongs with 15/16 year olds. That’s just really weird! Like I would completely get it if you were 23/24 doing that because sometimes you’ll have friends that are 20 that you knew from HS and they’ll have friends a few years younger who come and hang out, like that does happen sometimes and suddenly you’ve got a 23 year old smoking weed or playing beer pong with a 16 year old. It’s a little weird but it’s understandable how it could happen. But when you’re pushing 30, that’s a situation that just doesn’t happen anymore, and if it does, you should be removing yourself from the situation because it’s kinda weird lol.

granted I am a HS teacher and being around teens that often makes it a lot easier to see why 30 year old me would have absolutely avoided hanging out at a party with a 16 year old in attendance, but yeah. It’s weird to do that at that age, and it’s downright messed up to purposefully make it happen yourself the way JL did.

 

Read through some comments on a Reddit thread that featured the new article. There is so much is useful weaponized logic incompetence going on. And it’s hyper-reliant on there being other BN fans to flood the zone with nonsense. Any other thread where it’s discussed and BN fans aren’t caught up to it yet is universally creeped out and disgusted by their actions and reunion.

 

I knew it was a bit odd last year when he spoke highly of Brand New when I saw him at the Ryman. It was awkward. But now it’s all making sense.

 

Thank you for your courage @aiyana91 and sharing your story

 

Yeah as someone who said fuck brand new from the time the original story broke in 2017 and has kept up inconsistently with any details that came out after, I always kind of wondered how much the others knew and if Jesse’s transgressions were actually more widespread than initially reported. (Not to minimize the first report at all - the very first story that broke was easily enough to warrant being immediately deplatformed if not sent to jail.) The degree to which it’s clear this was a long running pattern of behavior AND that it was aided and abetted by the greater band machine is so disturbing. There are simply no mental gymnastics I could understand as a reason they should be allowed let alone welcomed a comeback. Thank you Aiyana, hopefully your story helps others realize that.

 

Hitting my threshold on the amount of comment sections from other websites that I can tolerate today. I’ve been called a dumb bitch, a liar, ugly, a pick me, and my story continues to be minimized left and right. Gonna log off for a bit and try to get some rest, but to any lurkers who might be reading this, please let this all sink in. This is exactly why most survivors don’t speak up.

The entire fandom is a disgrace. Shame on anyone daring to speak to me, or about me and other survivors, that way. And thanks for letting me vent.

 

They know what side they're on and they aren’t looking to put forth persuasive arguments to change minds. They’re using their arguments to disconcert and dissuade others from feeling comfortable discussing his allegations out loud. Sorry this is what they’re choosing to do.

 

Yeah, really sorry about some of the reactions from the dipshits on Reddit (and I’m sure other cespools as well). As unsurprising as it is, it’s still disgusting and I can’t even imagine what it must feel like for you to read.

 

Makes one look differently at why exactly Kevin jumped ship from opening the Science Fiction tour right after the initial allegations came out.

His actions seem performative like Joss Whedon, creator of Buffy the Vampire Slayer, who was all about promoting female empowerment on his shows and in the media, while at the same time firing a female actor for getting pregnant.

 

In my experience, this is just how a ton of people operate unfortunately. My wife's friend group is full of loud, outspoken feminists/allies but literally none of them stood up for her when one member of the group tried to assault her a decade ago. To this day, they'll tell her how awful it was and then post pictures with him a week later.

I know that's anecdotal, but everybody knows how to read from the script so they can get their pat on the back for saying the right thing. I'm totally disillusioned by all that talk until I see someone actually act on it.

 

Also I’m sure she’s sick of getting tagged at this point but also wanted to thank @aiyana91 for sharing her story. The pictures really help paint a picture for how messed up what he was doing was for at least some of the people who still haven’t accepted it. And frankly you even pointed out that there’s still a way for this band to be around and make music and be, if not accepted at least tolerated/ignored by their victims like you, but they just don’t want to deal with the hard work it would take to do it. Obviously you can’t speak for every survivor of Lacey’s, but that was always the impression I got from the other girl’s stories too—if they would just put in the hard work, in public, to not just try and repair what they did, but make the scene safer for girls going forward and etc, then maybe more people will be willing to say okay. And the fact that so many of their hardcore supporters would rather yell awful shit at you in the comments instead of trying to get the band to take accountability is just fucking awful. Try not to let that shit get to you as best you can. They’re in the wrong and you’re not, simple as that.

 

Reading your post reminded a ton of the article about the creator of Ren & Stimpy (John Kricfalusi) and how he groomed children and convinced their parents to let them go live with him... like many of these stories, the parallels in the abuse always seem to line up.

The Disturbing Secret Behind An Iconic Cartoon

 

Anyone blaming the parents instead of the abuser should A) shut their mouths, and B) watch Leaving Neverland. One of the things it did best was showing how parents could just as easily be manipulated by people in the spotlight as the minors who are actually being groomed/abused.

There is a power imbalance at all ages when it comes to fame. Granted Jesse Lacey is no Michael Jackson when it comes to worldwide superstardom, but the fact remains that society tends to put certain people on a pedestal, especially once they get to know them personally and present themselves as decent people who can uplift their children.

So if the parents of very young boys would allow their sons to sleep at a famous person’s house due to trust earned via manipulative tactics, it’s not remotely inconceivable to see how a teenage girl’s mom would allow her daughter to spend time in public with her idol.

 

Exactly - people really have their head up their ass. Groomers have to manipulate the parents as well.

 

I read the story last night, but I guess I missed the part where Andy was mentioned? Wouldn’t be surprised. Was just looking for clarification, unless there was something else that I just missed

 

I missed that comment, thank you for following up!

 

Okay, I promise I’m logging off after this to spend time with my sister and away from my iPhone but I thought I’d clarify why I named Kevin and Andy specifically.

Kevin was present for the lakehouse-invite show, and the threat about me “putting things on the internet” was on the tour bus during the KD/Manchester tour, when both Kevin and Andy were present. My mom actually called during that moment and Andy asked if he could talk to her, and I remember him making a very weird joke about me “being a very good girl and reading my Bible verses.”

 

I'm gonna read back through the thread to see what happened but it's been fuck Jesse Lacey since 2017 and you are none of those things.

 

I was assaulted by my friend’s roommate and she remains good friends with him to this day. It is definitely disappointing but I also know that life and relationships are very complicated so I’ve given her some grace as well… Idk it’s very hard to work through it all mentally for sure. Sorry to hear that about your wife’s friends as well.

 

I’ve never looked at Kevin the same way because he’s always posting about progressive politics. But when it’s time to actually show up in his “real life” he couldn’t even drop an abusive friend. Granted Brand New did a lot to raise his profile and help his career so maybe he feels indebted to them. But regardless, that’s still putting himself before victims.

And to me that shows how deep misogyny runs even in allegedly progressive spaces.

I remember around the time of the allegations he wrote some long post about forgiveness and addiction. Seemingly relating his own struggles with what Jesse was dealing with. But idk, isn’t part of recovery actually apologizing to people you’ve hurt and making amends? And at this point, we know Jesse hasn’t.