Accountability in Music • Page 370

Wow. Just... wow.

 

You can't make this stuff up.

 

absolutely incredible lmfao

 

shoot your shot I guess

 

Did I go back in time? Wtf

 

Damn, that's awful for Yvette. Fuck people who cheat, can't believe Mark would deceive her like that, she's a sweetheart.

 

Is that the third guitarist in Periphery?

 

Yep

 

Damn man

 

If I had the power, I would have this post memorialized in the Smithsonian.

 

That's a troll account

 

Also, apparently this Macbook was stolen from his exgirlfriend who just accused him of abuse this month.

You can't make this stuff up.

 

There have been a lot of recent stories about people involved in the Richmond food/music/general entertainment business having allegations against them and getting fired (or not). It’s so gross.

 

Has this man ever taken an english class

But fuck that dude, seriously

 

So there's something I need to bring up. I vaguely mentioned the situation once, then clarified it to a few users who pm'd me. Everytime I read this thread, it keeps coming back to me. It fucks me up over and over again because I've never done anything about it and thought I would be in the wrong if I did.

Back in Spring 2017, I've heard that a post-hardcore band, Adam Kills Eve, was coming to my former college town and playing a free show at a bar. This was unusual, so I quickly checked them out, got into their music, then went to the show.

After they were done, they stayed at the merch stand. I chatted with them (mostly one of the guitarists if I recall correctly), just the usual "Thanks for coming, you guys were awesome, how's touring life like" stuff I was able to mumble through my limited English oral skills, and I bought a t-shirt to support them.

Afterwards, I mentioned the show on an Instagram post, and the members then added me on socials. Where it starts getting weird is when the drummer, who I'm almost certain I had contact with at the show, went into my dm's to thank me for posting about his band, then he followed it up by, I suppose, flirting with me.

He started asking questions about my life but immediately was interested in my sexual orientation. I thought, well fine he must simply be curious as, at the time, I was trying to come out publicly and had mentioned being pansexual in my bio. Perhaps I didn't see his intentions as malicious because his English, like mine, wasn't perfect.

I was also planning a YouTube channel where I would post guitar covers, so I told him I wanted to play one of their songs then send it back to him once it's edited and uploaded... and out of nowhere, he replied with this:



I think I must have been uncomfortable hence me only coming up with a cringy joke-y answer, putting an end to this awkward conversation. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Thankfully, I don't remember having any more actual interactions with him since.

This thread progressively made me reassess all of this, as more bands are called out and problematic situations get brought to light. I deleted him and his band when he liked my latest profile picture change a year later, hoping I would move on for good.

However, I didn't and now I realize it has affected me in a few ways as I put two and two together. Like, how I kind of went back into "hiding" my sexuality both irl and slightly less online, as I felt I wasn't ready to be put in a similar place again. I remember not knowing what to do with my Okcupid profile in which I was open about it and suddenly getting messages from queer men, because I was afraid one of them would then act inappropriately. I ghosted everyone and deleted the app after all. I couldn't trust anyone anymore.

I've written and deleted many drafts over the past year, but the guilt and the need to get this out of my system overwhelm me anyway. I guess my main point was the confusion over whether this could be perceived as grooming. I feel like a coward for not confronting him and for letting it slide. I guess it didn't occur to me this could happen to anyone. The thought that he could have done the same or worse to others infuriates me.

This is getting long, so I'll stop there before I backtrack once again.

 

Don't know if this fits here or not but there are some (expectedly) gross lyrics on the new Eminem album, including a joke about the Manchester Bombing.

 

I’m so sorry you were put in that position. You’re not a coward for not knowing how to talk about or process this. None of that is on you.

 

Yeah I don't have anything to add or say other than I'm sorry that that situation happened to you.

 

You are absolutely not a coward. Please feel free to DM me anytime, I’ve been through something like this and reflecting on the discomfort of those gross actions fucks you up. I’m so sorry this happened to you.

 

I have also had experiences where I thought I was becoming a friend and respected colleague with men in music only to have it turn out they just wanted to be sexual with me, so please know it’s totally valid to need time to process how you feel about it. I’m really sorry that happened to you and caused so much pain.

 

Ministry Guitarist Sin Quirin Accused of Underage Sexual Relationships by Two Women

 

Why the hell does that article even bring up Brand New? They’re not even remotely close to the same music scene as Ministry. It’s so irrelevant and unwarranted.