Accountability in Music • Page 225

This exact thing is why it confuses me when people are crucifying Better Off, while giving bands like TMP a pass

Feels like a lot of cherry picking based on personal taste

 

If you can quote my post where I gave TMP a pass I’ll give you this website.

 

This is not about any particular user, just a general thing. Read up comments on their post: people are way nicer about it than they usually are. This also happening IRL in my group of friends, they were brought up yesterday and my friends, who are usually really harsh on these topics... well let's just say they softened up a lot for once.

 

Nobody here is doing that so if you'd like to go back to twitter you might find more in common with those guys.

 

asking that Better Off take like the bare minimum in steps towards accountability is crucifying lol ok

 

I don’t think anyone is giving TMP a giant free pass. But I feel like it’s better to have someone actually acknowledge they did something wrong and take visible steps to help themselves vs still basically denying you were a shitty person and pretending a 3 year gap without saying anything was time enough for people to forget about it.

 

Tons of people are nice on every post shitty bands make. This ain’t new.

 

Also re: that TMP statement he says that the survivor was still considering the mediation offer. I think they should at least consider delaying tour/band stuff until they know their wishes but that's me

 

It’s not International Women’s Day if men aren’t saying a pop punk band is being crucified because they spent three years defending and covering for their bro who abused someone and can’t just pick right back up.

 

Better Off stans mad that their abusers/apologists are getting treated worse than the other abusers is peak internet apologist gatekeeper mode.

 

With my Instagram comments with Better Off, it seems to me that they still don’t really care. They’re still very defensive.

 

Another example of cherry picking: very similar situations with Moose Blood and Capsize where they kick out one member to shift blame from another, Capsize (rightfully) gets shut down right away, Moose Blood continues to get support for at least a while because fake woke emos don’t want to lose their favorite band

 

Moose Blood literally just ended the band over how much their career tanked from the fallout from their bullshit what are you even on about

 

fuck moose blood too

 

i'm not trying to give TMP a pass either.

I also do not think that the Better Off and TMP situations are the same.
When it happened to Better Off initially, they gave a shit response immediately, disappeared off the face of the earth and then come back years later to give a "maybe?" better (but still pretty shitty) response, act like nothing really happened and then drop a new album.

From what it sounds like, TMP/Dylan found out about the accusation, took some time but relatively quick tried to figure out what exactly happened, sought out a professional that deals with this sort of thing to try to handle the situation in a proper and respectful way towards the victim, and devised a plan to both promote awareness and commit to bettering himself.

The intent of my post was trying to figure out what could've been said and done by TMP/Dylan that could've been better, what the community wants and expects as a response when this sort of thing happens. Like I said, I'm still trying to figure it out if thats a good response to what happened or not.

Obviously, at the end of the day, you shouldn't be a shitty person.

 

Yeah, just recently after the whole thing came out like two years ago

 

It's so interesting that you are in here bringing up all these other allegations and talking about cherry picking as you conveniently say that you're willing to give "the benefit of the doubt" in the Better Off situation and that they are "genuine" in their remorse.

And you wanna talk about "fake woke emos" lol.

 

No one here is giving those bands a pass either. I think it’s a consistent fuck them across the board.

 

They were dropped from their tours, their final album was a total failure in every sense of the word, and they just puttered around as a dead band walking for a while before finally realizing it was over. Just because they had the ability to stick around when they were no longer welcome while other bands didn't doesn't mean that the reaction wasn't real and effective.

 

Because I’m more forgiving for someone wrongly defending their friend than actually assaulting someone

 

Maybe that’s something you should work on. Being an apologist isn’t productive at all.

 

That's literally cherry-picking.

 

I just...is this a hill worth dying on?

 

That's called "being a part of the problem."