Accountability in Music • Page 1008

Re: the whiteness of the scene, it is very apparent in how these convos go.

I’m a Black woman and growing up being into this music, I definitely felt out of place. Thankfully, indie, punk, DIY, whatever spaces are becoming more diverse. But there is almost inherently a lack of community that I’ve noticed among white folks. And it feels like that individualism is a barrier to any sort of collective progress.

And while a lot of people in these kinds of music scenes consider themselves liberal or progressive, when you ask people to look beyond themselves, sometimes you get a knee jerk defense. It’s similar to what I’ve seen when having to have convos about race with white folks who are not that educated on things like privilege. It’s like they’re unwilling to even consider that maybe they could be wrong. It’s more about poking holes in your “argument” than trying to reach a place of understanding. And then nothing really gets accomplished.

 

Speak on it!! We (white folks) absolutely have a responsibility to unlearn that reflex you mentioned and actually show up with humility, stop intellectualizing harm and start practicing community-centered accountability. I’m not looking to place any burden on you to explain more but just wanted to say I hear you, and your voice here is important. I hope more people are listening.

 

If we're being honest a big part of why white dudes from the scene have such a hard time denouncing people like JL is because they would have to come to terms with their own actions at the time.

 

Also echoing how I have felt firsthand how there can be recurring/circular/delayed reactions to and realizations of events. I had a very minor inappropriate interaction where a member of a band sent me adult content via AIM when I was underage and I literally forgot it happened for like 10 years and my brain still blocks it out and I often forget about it and, each time I remember it, there’s a repeat of realizing that it happened, why did it happen, why have I compartmentalized it, etc etc.

It’s very minor as I said and you can have full empathy without your own experience or sense memory but I hope it is worth sharing that there’s community in folks who have had experiences across the spectrum and there is often that experience behind our words even if we don’t lead with it.

 

I was also under the impression that Janae didn't want people to discuss it and actually didn't realize she had written something so recently So thanks for sharing!

That situation with Mikey really made me view him completely differently and I remember that all unfolding on social media. It was a huge mess and I think Gerard's response was something like "oh pickles"

I can't even imagine the countless stories that we don't know and will likely never know

I remember being young and so bummed that I didn't live in an area were concerts came through so I always ended up getting there right before the show started and having to leave right after due to travel time, so I couldn't really have an opportunity to hang around tour buses or try to meet my favorite band members, but now I'm kind of grateful for that. I remember being embarrassed that one of the few times my dad dropped me off at a show and let me be there by myself with a friend He made sure to check in with a nearby hotel concierge to make a plan with them that me and my friend would go to that hotel lobby directly after the show if he wasn't there yet to pick us up. Thought he was such a buzz kill but again very grateful now

 

For clarification, this was like ... hmm ... 13? 15? years ago or something at this point ... and it was a version of: I don't wanna talk about this with anyone, wish people would leave me alone, people are sharing my personal information and trying to find my age in Tumblr posts and it's creeping me out, I don't wanna be used in this way. And so I left it at that and said you have my email if you ever need anything from me. I know she was going through tough times. Her recent blog post is here.

I only skimmed through some of the previous posts, but caught this and wanted to reply.

What bothers me about the "what about ___" posts, besides them never really feeling like they're coming from a place of good faith, and always feeling a little like trying to muddy the water, is that this specific situation is multiple people, flat out, saying this happened and I would like this to happen because of it.

I agree, and have said as such multiple times, that there are a lot of other really bad situations out there! So many that I've literally lost count of how many I've posted about. Joel dating Hilary Duff isn't all of a sudden a good thing, and I don't think anyone here would defend it or think it is. But she's not (to my knowledge) saying "hey, Good Charlotte shouldn't tour and I'd like some accountability for ___."

I find the "do not not care about other victims?" language gross and telling. And any post that is couched with "I'm not defending ... but" gets a side eye from me. And, I have a hard time thinking someone actually doesn't know the answer to the question they're asking in this scenario because it seems self-apparent.

 

A) Holy hell, TIL I found out about the "scene rot" tag.
B) I went back to the 2017 posts about Brand New and was surprised to see it seemingly started with a post by Brian Diaz. Ironically enough, he was Pete Wentz's bass tech for a long time. He's now pretty exclusively with Mark Hoppus.

 

Is the Pete Wentz person different from Jeanae (sp?) who was featured fairly prominently in their RS cover story?

Fall Out Boy: The Fabulous Life and Secret Torment of America's Hottest Band

EDIT: It is the same person. Also that cover story DEFINITELY makes Pete look like a possessive crybaby at points.

 

The reason Wentz finally moved out of his parents’ house was to get away from Jeanae, his sulky teenage muse. “There was bad stuff between us, bad blood,” he says. “She’s one of the few people who can actually get to me. One day I was just like. ‘I’m leaving,’ and I took a plane.” But now you’re back together? “She’s irresistible, I guess. The best ones are crazy, for sure . . . There are parts of me that are like, ‘Yeah, we could get married,’ but there are parts of me that couldn’t spend tonight with her.”

"Sulky teenage muse" is doing a LOT of work there.

 

Those old interviews are wild to read these days. There’s one somewhere about punching out windows or car mirrors or something?

For Pete Wentz’s Sake – NBC Chicago

 

drummer for new pornographers
Palm Desert man charged with child porn possession, accused of recording minor in restaurant bathroom

 

Very unfortunate band name in this instance

 

Ngl I was relieved to learn it wasn't Kurt Dahle, who drummed on the peak era stuff.

 

I can fix him (no really I can)

Honestly tho lol. That was my mindset as a youth when I would read articles like those wentz ones. These are not the sex drugs and rock and roll kinda musicians. They're deep and existential and self deprecating and non threatening. They just haven't met me to heal them yet! I'd really get them

 

Kicked out immediately!

 

I don’t think I have ever made a post in this thread, but I’ve lurked it quite often. I have been a part of this community since 2004 in the APNet days, and to see this place evolve from consistently toxic behavior to one of if not the most important and inclusive spaces on the internet for our scene is a sight to behold. Many others have already offered you thanks for being brave, and I will do the same. I am immensely grateful for your courage and for this thread and community of people who genuinely care about others. Thank you for making this community an even better place.

 

just came to check the message board to see how fast someone made this comment

 

and that's how it's done

 

The new pornos news is insane and disgusting

 

This Kanye stuff today is really weird. Is he admitting that he was sexually assaulting his cousin as a kid? Oh and what a coincidence he has a new single coming this week that he's trying to promote.

 

I haven't seen anything and it sounds like its a good thing I haven't

 

that’s a hell of a way to promote a single

 

From what I saw, he posted a song (not on DSPs) on X about emulating pornographic magazines with his cousin when they were both children. Horribly sad stuff if true and not something I would deem an accountability issue so much as, shit that should be discussed with a mental health professional and not broadcasted on social media. Not defending him or any of the horrible stuff he's said or done - we don't have a Kanye thread anymore, so I get why it would be posted here.