Accountability in Music [ARCHIVED] • Page 556

He could start by not using his alcoholism and depression as an excuse for his actions

 

His next line is literally “none of this excuses...” after mentioning his alcoholism. So no, he does not use it to excuse his actions. He actually does the opposite

 

He’s claiming the pictures were altered and lists excuses (depression, alcoholism, anger management).

 

Again, like I said to the user above. He actually says it DOES NOT excuse it. So again, no he does not use it an excuse. If those things factored into his poor decision making, thats just part of his explanation.

 

Sorry, I didn’t see your post.
Ok, that is what he said. But he’s contradicting himself because it reads like he is using it as an excuse.

 

I guess we’ll have to agree to disagree here. As someone who has struggled with addiction in the past and for most of my life, I have ruined a lot of relationships with people, and said and done a lot of things I regret. Of course, they weren’t to the extreme that Chris went to, but they were the reason that my actions happened. So, I’m not sure I’m seeing where it’s wrong of him to mention that his depression and alcoholism work in unison to make him unstable, and have caused him to hurt people.

 

Fair enough. I don’t have that perspective because I haven’t been where you have. And I haven’t been a victim of abuse. So maybe my perspective on apologies isn’t accurate. But the fine line between excuse and explanation is what gets to me sometimes. And when is an explanation from the abuser needed?

 

It’s all good, maybe on the flip side I’m being overly empathetic to his statement because we unfortunately share some similar experiences with depression and addiction.

 

Then in no way is it relevant, nor does it serve a purpose in his apology

 

So then why bring it up at all

 

Please read my posts above. Those things caused his erratic and abusive behavior. Those are the things I’d hope he’ll try to get under control to not hurt people again. So why wouldn’t he bring that up?

 

Many people struggle with those issues and aren’t abusive. It’s a piss poor excuse he didn’t need to bring up.

 

It wasn’t used as an excuse though. It’s relevant to the statement, and literally said to not be an excuse. What statement would you all rather see? Genuinely asking, as I’ve seen some pretty terrible statements over the years from other abusers.

 

it didn’t need to be brought up at all. It’s not relevant. He abused someone. It’s insulting to bring alcoholism up. People deal with these struggles constantly and aren’t going around abusing their place of power, grooming and abusing someone because of it.

just admit your wrongdoing. Don’t bring up other circumstance around it. Admit it, remove yourself from your position of power, and better yourself.

 

It’s absolutely relevant. He’s taking ownership of the fact that his alcoholism and depression have caused this terrible behavior, and have hurt people. That’s what he’s looking to change, to not hurt people in the future. This is absolutely wild to me, I’ve heard maybe four Saves the Day songs in my entire life, I’m not even a fan of the band. I’m trying to understand how this statement was poor, and everyone keeps saying it’s not relevant in super aggressive posts and doesn’t seem to want to have any real conversation around this. He behavior and actions were and are inexcusable and he doesn’t try to excuse them, but to say the fact that his (apparently public) struggle with depression and alcoholism aren’t relevant to his actions and abuse is very misguided

 

Since you did an edit after my quote, he did those things in his statement, and if you’re saying he should “better himself” what is he bettering? Exactly what he mentioned he’s looking to better himself on, which you said isn’t relevant? Seems kind of contradictory. He’s looking to better himself and stop ignoring problems he has had for quite some time.

 

hey there, thanks for sharing your perspective. I’m glad you’ve overcome your demons.

substance abuse and depression may have played a role in Chris conley’s behavior, and I feel for the guy struggling with those things.


but the particular issue here is that Chris has hurt people in the process, he is 100% responsible for his actions. With that said, I think if there is going to be a statement made about it then he shouldn’t bring his personal demons up. Yes, he came back with saying none of it excuses his actions, but acknowledging them with these kinds of statements indirectly (and/or directly) alleviates his accountability. Ppl reading it can tend to put more attention on his struggle rather than full attention on the victims and his toxic actions.

there is definitely a time and place to come forward about his personal demons, this is not one of them, IMO.

... and this is coming from a die hard fan

 

This is a much more tactful way to explain the perspective that many others are trying to say, so I appreciate that. It’s good to see there can be open forum without so much aggression

 

Sorry for getting “aggressive” at the suggestion that alcoholism is the reason why he abused people, next time I’ll just let that association slide despite the fact that it’s an insult and degradation to the many people who struggle with addiction without also abusing people every day

 

I literally said in one of my posts that I’ve struggled most of my life with addiction, so please don’t speak for me. I don’t feel insulted or degraded by him mentioning that. Nice condescending post to prove my point though, and come off as degrading yourself

 

thank you, and of course, there’s definitely some room for compassion towards individuals struggling with their issues. It just sucks, really sucks, when there’s collateral damage. But in that process there’s still owning up to be done. Which is definitely an important step to healing.

 

Huh? Brand New isn't back and I haven't seen/heard anything to suggest they'll be coming back anytime soon.

 

There was a picture from last year of them all together and in a recent podcast Dan Ozzi said they are about to “re-enter society”.

 

Please, no.