Accountability in Music [ARCHIVED] • Page 555

I really hope Chris gets sober and does the self work in 12 step step or another recovery program. He has made a lot of music based on self-actualization, but this shows he has an infinite amount of work to do. He seems intelligent when he is not drunk/on drugs (unless that is an act too), and if he dives as deeply into his mind as he has claimed to in the past then he may get what he needs through a recovery program. It's the most intense thing I've ever done myself and I've met people who were complete shitheads in the past who have turned their lives around and made positive examples of themselves to other addicts to make life changes that seem impossible. They've also made themselves assets instead of liabilities to their families, friends, and colleagues.

And of course none of that would absolve him for the wreckage he caused. And I am willing to bet there is a lot of wreckage and baggage.

I hope he just breaks the band up and gets his shit together. And sorry for the recovery preachiness if it annoys anyone.

 

fucking hell. don't have insta so not sure I saw everything but I get the point. hope the victim(s?) is/are okay and that people don't come after them online like what sometimes happens. haven't followed STD much at all in the last several years but conley's early work meant a lot to me at one point in time. hope the other band members refuse to ignore this and he's deplatformed and fades into obscurity.

annnnnd much like with BN, ryan adams, pinegrove etc. even if I wanted to listen to that guy's music now I don't think I'd be able to do so without feeling icky af

 

Has anyone here been able to successfully stop listening to bands/artists they grew up listening to once they found out there were members that are racist and/or abusers?

It's been a struggle for me to be honest. A lot of these songs in ways, saved my life, then I get older and find out that the lead singer is a raging racist. I've read people on this board want users to stop mentioning this bands name, but Trapt had an incredibly big influence on me, especially growing up. I'm mainly referring to their debut album which I still listen to today. It's just disappointing to me to see who their lead singer really is. I still listen to ADTR, Chris Brown, R. Kelly etc. I don't nor would I ever go pay to see them perform, but I can't stop listening to their music.

 

also, speaking as a person in long-term substance abuse recovery boy I sure hope that neither chris nor any of his fans try to use what may or may not be an alcohol/drugs problem to justify this. even if you're super bought in on forgiveness and restorative justice etc that sure doesn't mean you get to keep being a rock star too once you get sober!

(also please dont quote this post because I want to delete eventually as you could attach my username to my real name without too much trouble and I'm in a profession that's ass-backwards and still stigmatizes mental health/recovery stuff)

 

I haven’t listened to brand new since the Lacey stuff came out. Saves the day is arguably 100x more influential for me though.

 

Uhh you should probably delete that as the user requested not to be quoted

 

100% agree in the principle of justice and that getting sober doesn't solve any past wreckage created. I should have made that much more clear.

 

Wasn't calling you out! Just a general thought

And thanks for deleting haha

 

I’ve dropped tons of bands and other artists over the years. It’s a high priority for me to not support known abusers and value the people who share their stories at great risk to themselves. Obviously there’s no way to ever be up to date about every single person and there unfortunately tons more that we may never hear about publicly, and the underlying systems that keep them in power aren’t anywhere close to dismantled, but I just can’t go on like it doesn’t matter when I hear these stories. My personal enjoyment and benefit is not worth the ongoing pain of another person.

There have been many people either in music or film that were incredibly influential to my life that I’ve lost because of this. Many were people that I leaned to for comfort when I was stressed or upset, a favorite album or movie that would be really great to pick myself up or at least remember I’m not alone, and it’s painful to not be able to revisit those. I just remind myself that it’s important to do what I can on a personal level to stop their support and refuse them a platform. For me it’s a big deal to not just stop supporting them monetarily but to take away the power and influence they have in my mind. I don’t want to depend on a person who causes others harm for my own comfort and amusement. There are countless artists who need my support who can fill the gaps left by old favorites, some new and some old in my life, and enjoying discovering/revisiting those is a huge help to stop needing the others.

A lot of it comes down to making a bunch of small conscious decisions over and over again and slowly changing behavior. When you say you “can’t stop” listening to their music, is it that you truly can’t live without them and need to have their work in order to be fulfilled/healthy? If so that’s something that will take a lot of effort and baby steps, maybe even professional advice to work through if it is a change you want to make. But it also could mean that you haven’t actively taken steps to stop listening and focusing on them, and some quick changes can help. Removing albums from your phone, taking bands off of playlists or liked artists, unfollowing them on social media, these are all quick things that can be done so you don’t randomly come across them in your daily life. Then you can start to be conscious of when you actively want to seek them out and whether or not there are other options that fit just as well for those moments. It’s not a situation where perfection is possible and everyone slips up or has personal lines they can’t draw for their own well-being, but deciding that these things matter and working to remove them from your life is a huge step.

 

Sorry I’m a bit late, but wow, that’s awful about what Chris did. Isn’t he married with a child too? Or am I misremembering?

Either way, that’s horrible. I hope he gets the help he needs because he REALLY needs to turn his life around

 

I believe he and his wife divorced a few years ago.

 

I just remember a lot of times when I'd want to either end everything or run away when I was younger, I'd go in my room, turn on my cd player, close my eyes, and just blast the music to keep me sane. These songs go back almost 20 years for me, so they've had such a huge influence on me.

 

It's been painful having to cut artists out of my life, but I do it every time. Doesn't matter how important they were to me. I can't continue to derive any sort of enjoyment from this artform when that art was created by people who abuse others in any way. Also, I won't be complicit in re-traumatizing survivors by discussing their abusers' work in a positive fashion.

But the pain that news like this causes me is nothing compared to the pain people like Chris Conley, or Jesse Lacey, or Evan Stephens Hall, or Dylan Mattheisen, or anyone else like them has caused to the people they've hurt. The least I can do is stop listening to and supporting the men responsible for that pain.

 

Yep, this right here. The only artist I had a hard time with this was David Bowie.

 

I find that with most abuse cases, the knowledge that the musicians were abusers usually sours their art for me anyway. Even if I wanted to return to the music of known abusers, it would probably just sound foul to me anyway. I will admit that ADTR was a really tough one for me that took a process of weaning myself off of their music but once I got it through my head that they were predators? Even though I get those "cravings" still sometimes, I know that there's nothing that can really scratch that itch because their music just makes me uncomfortable now. It's like getting painfully nostalgic for an old playground that later got torn down due to someone getting murdered there or something so you couldn't see it again no matter how much you wanted to.

Also, on this note, has anyone kicked around the idea of making a "replacements list?" IE, a spreadsheet of "Band X has abusers in it, so here are Band Y and Band Z that sound and feel a lot like them so you can replace Band X in your rotation with these two instead."

I wouldn't put in this thread because I think that might shift too much focus onto personal enjoyment of art instead of, you know, the victims of the rampant abuse in the music scene. But it could be a project that might be helpful to steer consumers away from the predators.

 

What a terrible apology.

 

So basically "We're gonna look like we care by mentioning it but ultimately will find no reason to go through with anything"

 

I am grateful for the moments of joy we were fortunate enough to share over the last 24 years. I wish you all nothing but the best while I work towards the changes necessary to improve my behavior...

So... does that mean STD’s done?

 

I have to imagine Rodrigo and probably also Arun are out after this.

 

That’s what I took from it

 

c ya, don’t let the door hit you bro

 

Oh please they’ll be back just like BN

 

Is it? He takes ownership, and explains how wrong he was for paragraphs. He apologizes and says he’s going to work on these things. At the end he appears to allude to the fact that he’s not expecting to continue, or is surrendering his platform voluntarily.

You don’t need to agree with his actions, and I don’t think anyone does, but what more did you honestly expect/want from him?