Accountability in Music [ARCHIVED] • Page 435

checking to make sure they're legal is the most sketchy shit I have ever heard

 

Is anyone else also very turned off at how active the NFG thread is? Chad Gilbert is a piece of shit who groomed Hayley Williams. Fuck that band.

 

I wish him nothing but the worst

 

People just gloss over stuff like that. In the Blink thread when people were trying to talk about how them associating with xxxtentacion and also talk about Skiba's nazi leanings others were trying to ignore that discussion and talk about the band like nothing was happening. If you bring the Chad grooming topic up, people will just either ignore it or only notice it for a little bit before going back to talking about the band/new album like normal.

Honestly, I fear Chad is going to do the same to Lisa Cimorelli, who is 13 years younger than him. I think it's a bit odd that Chad is dating people significantly younger than him (Hayley is 8 years younger). I know there's technically nothing wrong with that if everyone is of age, but I just get weird vibes from it.

 

This thread honestly taught me a lot I joined Chorus at 16 right before all the Brand New stuff happened and I used to come in here trying to defend problematic bands like an absolute clown. If I can learn in 3 short years, so should everyone else.

 

Chad’s pattern of seeking out significantly younger Christian girls who are relatively sheltered to wife up so he can cheat on them with alt “bad girls” and emotionally cripple them is certainly problematic and I’m waiting for the day anyone holds him accountable for it. Fuck him.

 

As an adult who spent years of my life listening to NFG, I honestly can’t support or listen to them at this point in my life. Like the stuff with Steve was horrible and the fact that Chad gets a free pass from many people despite his horrific behavior with women just leaves a horrible taste in my mouth. Recently, it was brought up via this site that Sticks and Stones came out 18 years ago and while I have many memories tied to that album (among others), I don’t really see a reason to go back and listen to it other than nostalgia.

 

It seems like in situations where creators people enjoy may not be fit for admiration there’s a tendency toward willful ignorance, to avoid the uncomfortable as long as possible.

And then should a reckoning be forced, people compartmentalize it. With NFG, Steve got kicked out and for some folks it was like “problem solved, as we were” without ever really pausing to reflect on why this music spoke to people in the first place.

In general, the growth process of confronting our relationships with teenage music is probably a personal journey for everyone, but it would be nice if more space was carved out for conversations about it.

 

People on this site in general has a problem with giving problematic artists a free pass/platform and I get it, bands like Blink and NFG means a lot to people and if you wanna listen to their music, that’s your right. However, when people point out problematic issues they have with those people, the consensus from those people is pretty much just “LOL WHATEVER” and it’s defeating.

 

I’ll be the first to admit I still listen to some problematic artists. I still listen to TMP, for example. However, I try and be mindful in terms of money where my mouth is, per se. I didn’t buy their album, I don’t buy any merch, etc. I think trying to do something versus absolutely nothing is progress. The more people take small steps to not be complacent is a solid foundation.

I also think there is a difference between listening to an artist with a sketch history in private versus loudly proclaiming your devotion to them online and to your friends.

 

I think some of this struggle has its roots in the ways consumerism has tethered our sense of self to our consumer choices, teen consumerism being a particularly pernicious landscape.

For some folks, “blink 182 fan” or “emo kid” is a part of who they are, so to say goodbye to that is to surrender a part of yourself.

Which obviously is a good, healthy growth experience, but I think it can be a hard process for some.

 

Honestly, looking back a lot of the stuff Travis Barker said in his book about some of the women in his life (namely in the past) is fucking gross.

 

his relationship with Shanna ended very poorly
Travis Barker Vs Shanna Moakler On MySpace
Travis Barker: I'm Still in Love with Shanna

 

His relationship with Shanna has some really toxic, shitty moments

 

I wanted to post this here because I think it adds to the conversation. It's about D*lan of TMP from around 8 years ago.



I cropped out the user because they've been getting enough shit from stans the way it is.

I live in Bismarck, ND. My bands and I have always been about arms-length away from Fargo, ND (we were all but completely excluded because of gatekeepers - a discussion for some other time) so I didn't really know what their scene was like aside from a few bands that played in my town. Their music scene is going through an upheaval of abuse outings. As we always see, as soon as someone came forward about one person then the next and the next and the next came forward. Patterns of abuse revealed. Hopefully some healing for victims can begin.

Luckily the best venue in the city for independent music - a coffee shop called The Red Raven - has no cis men in leadership and is committed (as they have been for a long time) to being an open ear to victims and a closed door to abusers.

 

What does "TMP" stand for so I know what band to avoid?

 

Tiny Moving Parts

 

Like Hopeless would ever care

 

Believe survivors*

*except when they implicate your lead singer, then what are ya gonna do?

 

Yeah this is a side note but not gonna lie one of the biggest learning curves for me when I first joined this site (granted this was back when it was still Absolutepunk) was learning all the goddamn acronyms, LMAO.

 

RIYL took me years to figure out

 

tbh I always forget this one. Hell, I might not have ever even learned it. I don’t wanna google it because I’m gonna go “oh duh” but I can’t decipher it lol

 

Rocks if you like

 

Uhhhh, respect, but why can't they just change the band name now?