Lol, true. Even then, that "rule" still falls into messy territory, imo. And I'm always wary of it when I see it in public when the younger one is like 21 or 22 or something.
I was joking, I don't really put any stock in that rule in and of itself. Mostly I'm of the opinion that until both parties are older than like 25, if you weren't close enough in age to be in high school at the same time you probably shouldn't be dating.
I just think you're in completely different stages of your life at that point, and it's usually guys with younger women and you wonder why they don't want to be with someone their own age
Also reinforces standards of attraction, like women are only attractive before like 30 and men continue to be valued in that way into and past middle age
This discussion came up in the comedy thread. Obviously power dymamics re: age are important to think about, but sideyeing any legal age gap relationship weirds me out a bit because I think it takes away the agency of the woman in the relationship. If they’re both legal, consensual adults and there aren’t any signs of abuse, idk why it really bothers anyone. I dont think that convo is really relevant to this thread, either
Like, if the older person has known the younger throughout their childhood and was in a position of power that could be considered grooming, absolutely. Chris Pratt’s situation isnt that. Fuck his homophobic dumbass church, though
I think that grooming like that is one of the main issues with such a large age gap or if someone is notoriously known for dating someone 10-20 years younger consistently. If two people meet and there just happens to be an age gap and they're both 30 or so years old or older, then I don't think it's a red flag or anything.
my cousin was like 22 and her husband was like 31 so I'm not completely diametrically opposed to age differences it's just a red flag, not necessarily bad
Not to be that person but I know plenty of people who are very loyal and donate to their church but don't fully agree with it. Have you seen the number of baptists that drink? I don't even 100% agree with the church that I attend. There is a very big grey area between going to a church and fully supporting everything it (the people that run it) does. I'd be more surprised to find someone that does support everything their church does just because religious beliefs always vary to a degree based on the person's life experience
Advising against drinking is quite a bit different than conversion therapy. One is a wag of the finger "no-no" and the other is mental and physical torture.
Also, as far as things you don't personally agree with your own church, that's for you to decide but you should understand that people are going to see you/others supporting their beliefs and have their own strong ideas about them. I stopped going to church years ago for reasons like that, as well as my lack of belief in it from the religious side.
if you support an institution like hillsong you need to be actively doing work for lgbtq+ people in your community to even come close to undoing those bad karma points
I'm aware that people will associate someone with the full beliefs of the church they attend. It's reasonable but it can give false ideas about the varying specifics of one's religious beliefs. I also wasn't trying to compare not drinking to conversion therapy. Just to clarify. I was only highlighting that people will go to a church that has totally different beliefs than them and that it's not as straightforward as some believe.
Sure, I didn't mean to imply you were comparing them directly, just so you know. I'm just thinking/typing out loud.
It's a fine line deciding what you do or don't support though. I'm sure we're all guilty of throwing money at something that has some bad tie-in to people we'd vehemently disagree with, like a store or going to see a movie by certain actors/producers or certain bands, etc... I think the difference with that and Pratt though is that he's an international super movie star and has an incredibly long reach into practically every household across the globe and he's unfortunately using it to praise a church like that.
I definitely agree that if he is for the LGBT community he should think twice about promoting a church that has an anti-lgbt history. If the anti-lgbt stuff goes on outside of sermons then some individuals could be unaware of everything that the church pours money into. Again, this is just hypothetical. We’ll have to see how he publicizes his church loyalty in the future now that, through Page, he is definitely aware.
I mean he already tried to deflect and say they weren’t anti-LGBT, so I think he’s not doing well on that front so far.
I would be more comfortable with age gaps when one is barely an adult if like every woman I know hadn't been abused in some form in a relationship like that. I was in one myself and would've argued for my agency as a woman if anyone has told me the power dynamic was off, but it took me getting older to realize how messed up the dynamic actually was. And I wish I was exaggerating when I say that nearly every woman ive known and talked to about this doesn't have the same story. Those odds are too sus for me not to side eye the situation. I always hope that isn't the case but I've run into too many examples. I work with too many women who have had so much damage done to their lives by these older men. I will always hope the relationship is healthy for the sake of the younger one, but probably never trust the older half of the partnership completely. Perpetual side eye.
Yeah 21 is too young for me haha. I cannot fathom why someone my age (25) should date someone even younger than that.