Accountability in Entertainment • Page 340

I was waiting for this ha. It's an easy out when someone has a different opinion to say 'Don't ask us to educate you!' that I almost put that in my post that it was inevitable that I'd get that response. It's nice that you can rely and trust that everyone can just be told that they're wrong, and that will do their own research and inevitably hold hands with you on the correct side of the issue. It's not like they could possibly find someone who agrees with their side when they google it?

I just jump at twitter headlines and accountability threads that have an extreme headline and don't accurately convey the situation, and labelling Jonah Hill as an 'abuser' is extreme to me. When you use labels like that, people get defensive about the label, and gloss over the specifics as I initially did. As I've interacted and discussed, and re-read the actual texts, I have agreed that they're misogynistic and gross and toxic and stem from unaddressed personal issues. However, I also think it's wrong to share the texts with the guise that you're trying to save someone in the next relationship. You can do that privately, it didn't need to be a twitter blast, especially when you have no idea about the growth the person made between relationships and how they treat their current partner. If it makes you as a victim of a traumatic relationship feel better and heal, then by all means - but it doesn't mean I have to agree and say 'good for you - you exposed a real rotten one'.

Agreed, and bad example but part of the texts were groups of people that Jonah didn't want her to hang out with, and it seemed to imply partying, and behavior when partying, but that was one of the few more normal parts that I tried to draw a comparison to and it's creating a non-applicable situation.

Either way, I don't need to argue with anyone. I don't have any skin in the game, Jonah Hill is not my buddy and I don't rely on his continued Hollywood success for anything. I was reading responses and actually starting to learn and understand the lines between toxicity and abuse but enough is enough and moving on.

Like every celebrity in the news for something, it's up to the individual to decide to cancel Jonah Hill or not (and whatever companies he works with to make that decision collectively for us if they so choose).

 

they definitely had a mutually toxic relationship based on jealousy and I hate that it's portrayed as romantic

 

I mean, @Helloelloallo, people have given you some good answers… but there is a degree to which you should probably take this starting point you’ve been given, and then do some further research on your own. Like, if you’re actually curious in good faith, looking into what people who’ve studied abusive behavior have to say will help more than typing so many words into a forum thread.

 

In general, yes, of course it’s normal & healthy to talk to your partner about their behavior and how it’s affecting your relationship. Based on this post, it seems like you understand that this situation with Jonah is not really that. You can’t make misogynistic demands in a non-abusive way because misogyny is abusive

 

I’m not really sure what it is about my posts that seemingly aren’t worth responding to compared to everyone else’s but I don’t understand how you can say the misogyny isn’t abusive

 

Uhh, what I meant was, don't ask us to educate you because that's free emotional labor, but sure, go off

 

I have liked your posts, which means i have considered and found value in them, but to directly address your question, i think i have a narrow minded, and outdated definition of abuse, in that it has to be directly negative or consequential. I am stepping back because of that, but to avoid being evasive/rude:

Ex:
No bathing suit pictures, it makes you look like an "insert demeaning phrase of your choice"
Behave how i want or "insert financial / emotional suppprt withholding here".

Vs
"Here are my toxic expectations, abide or we wont work out, which is okay" doesnt read on the same level, but thats assuming the exit offered is available and sincere and its denying the impact even making those requests has in the first place.

 

Offering an exit doesn’t matter if the request is misogynistic to begin with.

 

Holy shit dude you don’t have to keep doing this

 

Meh. I thought i was close on that one by responding to someone who asked why i was responding to others and not them. I was sincere, explained where i started from, and what i thought i was getting wrong after reading posts. Not quite there I guess.

 

You don’t seem willing to change your mind, you aren’t changing anyone else’s mind. You’re just being antagonistic under the guise of wanting some kind of clear and open conversation. It’s dork shit. Just stop.

 

I literally explained how i was changing my mind and started to see how i have a narrow minded definition of what constitutes abuse, and i included someone who asked why i glossed over them, but you're right, enough dork shit.

 

I found this whole exchange draining and I barely even participated

 

I has to skim because I was at work all day and it was a lot to catch up on but it's def important to remember that abusive people often give ultimatums as a sort of "test" and not in any form of sincerity. It's a test to see how far they can cross their partners boundaries and control them. Often the goal being if they lay out enough of these "little" tests they can slowly and subtly gain more and more control over their partner over time. That's how someone sort of wakes up one day and realizes they're trapped. There often isn't one big event that causes this, but a lot of little traps along the way.

And also yeah everything @Meerkat said

 

I think it's fine to seek education in here in good faith -- I would argue it's built-in to the purpose of this thread -- but when the same thing is explained to you by multiple users over multiple pages, yeah, it's gonna get old. At some point, you gotta make the decision to look into the arguments yourself. Or not. Maybe start with the numberous posts and tweets by women detailing exactly why they consider it emotional abuse.

 

As celebrities don't get held accountable, the benefit to this thread is for people to discuss, recognise and learn from the bad behavior. Explaining why Jonah did not give a reasonable out is valuable.

I understand the sentiment of “it's not my job to educate you”, that it's emotional labor etc, but it undercuts that it is a point of this thread to learn & educate, and discourages the rest of the community from continuing while you take a break.

 

alleviating the stress, even for a moment

 

Lol

 

What a sociopath

 

Just when you think it cannot get any worse, she does that.

 

She’s realllllllly dedicate to the bit, isn’t she?

 

One of my favorite review headlines and reviews ever.

 

Deleted what was this?

 

It was that Colleen Ballinget was selling her ukelele song on Apple Music for $10 but I guess a rep for her has come out and clarified it was out there against her permission/not by her so I’m guessing that’s why the tweet was deleted.