Accountability in Entertainment • Page 339

I don't debate that. Accountability is a sliding scale and I maybe too aggressively stated that this wasn't a transgression worthy of a career ending cancellation. I understand my language was dismissive before with the term 'cherry picking' (and other things) now that I read back. I also understand and have argued for celebrities being held to a higher standard, and that their platform is a privilege, but there are still moments where I wonder where the line for privacy is, and when it's none of our business to even know or have an opinion about something.

 

Privacy, sure. But why should he deserve it in this instance? At that point it would seem like the victim is being silenced?

 

I would agree that in a much more nuanced situation, we as the public don't need to know every transgression or negative detail about a celebrity's relationship...but in this case, why should someone like Hill get to be abusive behind closed doors? We can't hold him accountable, but by letting the public know who he really is, it has a greater chance of impacting his platform. And that's a good thing.

 

Having gone through a relationship similar to this, I think bare minimum, I hope it brings awareness that this kind of behavior is not right and is emotional abuse.

Obviously there’s no holding Jonah accountable because he’s such a big star. I think this does kind of take down the image he’s built up for himself as this sweet, cool guy that’s about mental health and doing the right thing, like canceling Kanye.

 

What does it mean for you to hold him accountable in this specific instance?

This is genuine (and though I quoted you - not directly at you), but I guess I don't understand the difference between toxic and abusive. Telling someone you can't be with them unless they change (using this specific example of surfing and the attire and the requesting to control friendships), is toxic, but if the person is literally free to then accept that that's your conditions to be with them, and end the relationship, then how is it abusive? I would understand labelling it abusive, if the other person is forced to change because they're unable to exit the relationship through a variety of reasons (financial or control through violence etc) but having an unrealistic expectation of your partners behavior that takes away their agency, is toxic, but not necessarily abusive. I am not trying to argue semantics, I just see a big difference that goes a long way into deciding if someone is de-platformed by me. A toxic outlook can be explored and changed through education, whereas abuse to me is a behavioral issue that probably won't as easily be understood or corrected.

 

I said there’s no holding him accountable.

 

I don't want to speak too much on this because I'm not knowledgeable enough about textbook definitions of abuse, but my personal read of this post would be that it seems you've picked an arbitrary/subjective line to draw between "toxic" and "abusive behavior" when in reality, one tends to lead into the other and they can often be one and the same.

To me, there's a clear difference between a "toxic" relationship involving two people where they both have issues and there isn't a power imbalance, and a relationship where one person holds more power and is shown to have consistently tried to manipulate and control not only the relationship as a whole, but the other person in the relationship. That's why it reads as abusive to me.

 

Thank you. I will check this out. Confused me when it was just one tweet, but I logged in and see it's a thread.

 

He’s also misusing therapy terms to make it seem like what he’s saying/asking is normal and healthy and it’s just not.

 

Alexa from Zoey 101

Edit: Full tweets are here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/Fauxmoi/comments/14vdeys/alexa_nikolas_sharing_her_experience_with_jonah/

 

I think it’s fairly obvious that Jonah Hill’s behaviour towards his ex was needlessly controlling and personally I don’t love to see it, nor would I put up with it from a partner.

Did he not literally lay this out for his ex though and say, if this doesn’t work for you, I’m not the partner for you? That seems like… a fair out for anyone who wants it, no?

 

Why even give him an out? Like, all this does is enable and encourage him and others like him to continue being the way they are by saying "he asked first, though".

That doesn't make it okay. In a way, it almost makes it worse because it implies he knows it's objectionable and is looking for permission.

 

Adding an ultimatum to his controlling behavior is just more controlling behavior. If her choices are a problem for him, why doesn’t he just leave? Or more importantly, why did he pursue her to begin with?

 

Not to bring up one of the most popular shows but I did a Friends rewatch and something really dawned on me there - when Ross cheated on Rachel thinking they were on a break, the writing that struck me was they wrote for his two friends to say “how do we make Rachael not find out about this” instead of “how do we fix this” and it really struck a chord with me someone who follows allegations a lot. The first thing a guy’s friends ask/act on is usually this because of the way people have been raised, guy code, things they have seen done in the past to people they know, etc. And it’s really crazy but it reminds me of many of the allegations and results of allegations posted here

anyway this isn’t a post of substance, just something I caught and have been thinking about lately - apologies that it’s from fucking Friends

 

Being like “he offered his terms in good faith,” cmon y’all

 

These are fair questions also

 

I've only had 3 serious relationships, including a 13 year / 5 years married so take this with a complete lack of understanding about modern dating dynamics, but when you're feeing each other out, is it not okay to say 'hey, when we started dating this behavior wasn't apparent and now it is, I don't like it. Can we discuss it?'. I feel like there's a respectful way to do that, and the comments make me feel so lost, because we're not focusing on the specifics of what Jonah Hill said but in general that it's abusive to ask a partner to change? I see the misogyny (you can't model, you can't post pictures that I don't approve it, those losers don't deserve your time I do etc), but done in a respectful way, what's wrong with asking a new partner to change something? Like 'hey, I didn't know you partied so much, I'm growing out of that. If you're not done with that phase, then lets part ways'. It seems the entire idea of being exposed to a new partners behavior, and not liking it and discussing it is being called abusive. Like the minute you find a flaw (that's not really a flaw, but just a fundamental difference in values/lifestyle that you have issue with) you leave and don't discuss it?

 

I mean, but that’s kinda like asking “what if he acted completely different and more respectfully, would that be better?” Probably, yes

 

Can y’all please just do some research on emotional abuse. He cut and dry asked a professional surfer not to post photos of her in a bathing suit. If he asked her not to wear her business suit in photos people wouldn’t be arguing about it. What about her posting photos in a bathing suit wouldn’t have been apparent to him?

 

Let alone asking her to not have male friends

 

Also coming in here asking us to educate you is kinda ick

(re: do your own research)

 

Honestly was so hung up on the photos that I had completely forgotten about that, thank you for bringing it back up. That’s, again, textbook

 

Partying and having a job for your livelihood doesn’t compare imo