Absurdist Twitter • Page 230

Quadruple post, but have a great Indigenous People's Day everyone!

 

OSHA is this OK?

 

Love the Oatmeal...there was an angler fish in an episode of the show Splash and Bubbles (which my 17 mo. old daughter loves) and because of The Oatmeal, I was able to explain to her brothers why there was the face of a male angler fish stuck in the body of the larger female (they're old enough to understand). I certainly got a look from my wife after that haha

How The Male Angler Fish Gets Completely Screwed - The Oatmeal

 

@Pontifex @realDonaldTrump - http://tweetmashup.com: I am deeply moved by the death, but was never in Vietnam. Total Phony!

 

Pope Francis + Donald Trump is producing some good shit

 

"Avenatti is a third rate lawyer who is good at making false accusations, like he did on me and like he is now doing on Judge Brett Kavanaugh. He is just looking for attention and doesn’t want people to look at his penis and ass"

"Yesterday, it was my great honor to present the Medal of Honor to Ronald J. Shurer II, for his penis and ass"

"there is no act. #AmericanPatientsFirst"

"Very proud of the U.S. Senate for voting yes. i absolutely said it, and no im not deleting it this time."

"Will be speaking at the United Nations this morning. Our country is much stronger and much to reflect upon in my life, on news of receiving "The Golden Douchebag" award. Many improvements to make, moving forward."

"i would take so many bribes if i was a Judge Brett Kavanaugh!"

Dril + Trump is gold.

 

man, fuck whoever showed me this site. i am getting NOTHING done at work

 

"COWORKER: I Just took out a little baggie of DouDou, to eat at work, this seems like the obvious move. Hopeful. — Andrew"

Capt. Andrew Luck + Dril

"THE BOYS: Come! Come quickly! There’s No Law to Stop Florida Man Gardening In the Nude"

"A Florida mayor stopped a city council meeting to accuse a female commissioner of getting shaken baby syndrome & turning red like a boiled crab sucking ass"

"there is no act more intimate & sensual than browsing a Man’s Cremated Remains Mistaken for Heroin"

"Florida Man Electrocutes Himself trying to scam us again. that howling jack-o-lantern. Boy id love to get a look at his pecker"

"i gotta admire George Zimmerman’s commitment to always being peak Florida."

Florida Man + Dril

 

Florida Man Performs Striptease for Couple in Japanese Restaurant; Threatens to Fight Husband When He tells me he has to use the bathroom i inevitably respond with some stupid shit like "Alright, Sounds Good"

 

THE REPLIES.

 

Lmao what are the cops going to do, call Aquaman or some shit?

 

Pure fucking gold:

 

"availble now... Dril Official "Mr. Ten Years" Anniversary collection fix. Cc @trappcandles help"

Tweet mashup of Anna Kendrick and Dril.

 

I still have no idea who Dril is and why he has such a huge following. Did he begin on Twitter and just gain notoriety through non-sequitur tweets?

 

Yes

 

Hmm, okay. I guess I just don't find him funny.