A1iens and A1rwaves [Archived] • Page 1256

If you give Colby butter, he's going to ask for a box of pop-tarts.

When you give him the pop-tarts, he'll probably ask you for a knife. When he's finished, he'll ask you for a napkin.

Then he'll want to look in a mirror to make sure he doesn't have a butter mustache. When he looks in the mirror, he might notice his hair needs a trim. So he'll probably ask for a pair of nail scissors.

When he's finished giving himself a trim, he'll want a broom to sweep it up. He'll start sweeping. He might get carried away and sweep every room in the house. He may even end up washing the floors as well!

When he's done, he'll probably want to take a nap. You'll have to fix up a little box for him with a blanket and a pillow. He'll crawl in, make himself comfortable and fluff the pillow a few times. He'll probably ask you to read him a story. So you'll read to him from one of your books, and he'll ask to see the pictures.

When he looks at the pictures, he'll get so excited he'll want to draw one of his own. He'll ask for paper and crayons. He'll draw a picture. When the picture is finished, he'll want to sign his name with a pen. Then he'll want to hang his picture on your refrigerator. Which means he'll need Scotch tape. He'll hang up his drawing and stand back to look at it.

Looking at the refrigerator will remind him that he's hungry. So... he'll ask for a box of pop-tarts.

And chances are if he asks you for a box of pop-tarts, he's going to want butter to go with it.

 

Can't wait for the new matrix movies, where Morpheus asks people to take the red or blue fidget spinner.

 

He hated their Kardashians hated their selfies hated their Vine and YouTube stars but that one made sense

 

they can be a series of books about breaking down barriers

Henry Goes To Tokyo
Ian Meets J.K. Rowling
Colby Tries I Can't Believe It's Not Butter
etc

 

Wow Appetite For Destruction came out 30 years ago today

 

fuck Axl and everything but I really like that record. crazy it's been thirty years

 

I feel like she'd be mad that I never read Harry Potter

 

Bless your heart

 

Mmm yeah, you know where you are?


You're in the jungle baby


You're gonna die

 

@Mr. Serotonin really digging new Emerson man! It actually really reminds me of early 2000's pop rock which I love. It's feel good for sure. Jason Mraz comes to mind.

 

Oh yeah he's a racist homophobic prick but that album owns

 

Thanks man! We all listen to a lot of 90's rock, actually, haha. Not to bash any other bands from early 2000's pop rock (I love those bands) but I tried to focus even more on poetic lyrics. SUPER happy you like it. If you have any friends that would like it, pass it along!

 

JK Rowling Rowling Rowling Rowling WHAT?!


Now I know you be loving this shit right here

 

Let's play would you rather

 

Ok

 

mkay

 

Ok

 

JK Rowling or JK Simmons?

 

would you rather have to pee seventy times a day or poop once a month but it's as painful as childbirth?

 

JFK

 

Does it take as long as childbirth?

 

JK Simmons

 

Poop once a month. My poops usually feel like I'm passing a truck anyway