A1 Anonymous • Page 147

I feel sick but I feel sick just about every morning

I think I might be pregnant

 

that's offensive to pregnant peoples

#reported

 

my stomach is grumbling non stop right now but i'm too lazy to get something to eat. like you could probably put a mic up to my belly and get a pretty cool sample out of it.

 

I will end you and give my child your identity

 

I love Lucha Underground. This guy tagged in, did this shit, and tagged out immediately. lol

 

dad you're scaring me

 

daddy's been drinking again

 

All I can think of now is the Jeselnik dad joke from the Shakespeare album

 

This is why we're living with mom after the divorce

 

Am I the goddamn dad of Chorus because I am not paying for any of your college

 

she said I can have my own room after the big move

 

fucking deadbeat

 

I think you me and Chase are tied for most dad jokes

 

This is stuck in my head. Sooooo good.

 

I feel very good about myself that I can read this and laugh about it now

 

my bro-in-law thought of something the other day. imagine new years, the year 2020. every dad in the world is going to say "hey look, i have 20/20 vision!".

 

Somewhere in Dallas Chase is crying because he didnt get to use that joke first

 

Be prepared for me to be angry about everything today

This should be fun

 

????

 

we're not going to the zoo tomorrow, are we, dad?

 

That is GREAT

 

That time of month, eh?

 

I have run out of cigarettes and am refusing to buy more

I was gonna wait until Friday to start trying to quit since I don't have as much to do but I just went "Fuck it" because I don't wanna spend mondy

So now I'm gonna try to deal with fun work stress while my veins feel like fire

 

been there, man. took me ten years to quit. so happy I did tho. you can do it

 

you can do it man. youre a champion. You can always come in here and yell at angrycandy if you need to feel better