A1-8s and Bad Steaks [Archived] • Page 248

69.69

 

$67.63

 

And yes, I did consider scrounging around parking lots looking for dropped pennies to get that to an even $68 thanks for loving me despite who I am as a person

 

Awesome. Sanch went over so I win! I'll assume my check is in the mail

 

He's still at it huh

 

He brought up eyes again and my response made him feel bad so he apologized for wasting my time. Guess that one's over lol

 

That doesn't sound like something Laura would do
Oh that someone is you got it

 

Nah it'd be like a custodian at my work

 

I've been cleaning my bathroom for 2 hours. It would be great if I wasn't so anal about it and just stopped at good enough. I'm sweaty and tired.

 

If I won the lotto, it would ruin my life. I'd crumble from the pressure and struggle with not having earned it and probably wind up sadder. But man, I'd be sad in a bitchin' pool.

 

If I won the lottery someone would steal my car and crash it into a house or something and run away and somehow I'd have to pay for the car and the house and all the cars in the house and they'd own luxury cars and a mansion so I'd have to spend the entirety of my winnings fixing all this shit that somehow is my responsibility now

 

I'd be a stuck up POS.

 

Good to know money doesn't change everyone.

 

Now, this one seems promising!

 

My college emailing me for a donation.

LMAO, fuck off.

 

I'd go broke buying gifts and plane tickets tbh

 

The material Mulaney is touring on has a great bit about exactly this

 

I'd invest my lotto money in real estate because I'm boring

 

I'd buy a Toyota Prius.

 

I'd spend it very responsibly and then work on bettering myself

 

I would buy a cabin in the woods with a few acres of land, a suburban home, a car, pretty much pay off all of my life's bills, pay off my sisters' with the rest, and then just allow all of my paychecks for the rest of time to be disposable income.

 

If I got to keep the money I'd use it all on elaborate pranks directed at all of you

 

I'd send you each a Smirnoff ice keg, every day for the rest of your days.

Put your life on ice, son!

 

I'd build a bomb shelter and turn into John Goodman from that Cloverfield Lane movie.