2022 NFL Season Football • Page 635

Eagles should still be on the fence about whether to resign him at all

even if they manage to do well in the regular season Hurts is not a playoff quarterback. He panics and forgets fundamentals and patience when the pressure rises.

Maybe that changes but so far I’ve seen nothing to prove me wrong, he’s the textbook “rely on my athleticism” quarterback who gets stumped the minute teams figure out how to contain him from rolling out / how to cover rollout flood passes downfield

and especially in today’s NFL, any defense good enough to win in the playoffs knows how to do that. It’s not like the 2012 playoffs where Kaepernick killed GB defense doing the same thing over and over and they somehow weren’t prepared lol, teams are very used to defending mobile QBs now

 

I don’t follow Eagles beat guys, but that guy has a take so awful that I am made aware of it at least once every few months, and this is that time

 

Yeah ESP is half beat writer, half hot take guy. He's not totally a joke like Howard Eskin because he actually goes to practices and most media availability sessions, but he also spends his time saying stuff like this

 

Luck into a home run lol

 

I would cause an illegal formation, cry in the batter's box, trip over my shoelaces in the paint and get trampled, and accidentally high-stick a ref in those scenarios

 

There are scenarios where I could do the first three. Being unable to skate disqualifies me from even stepping on ice, so hockey is easily least likely for me. In the sense that 0% is less than 0.001%

 

I need to see elf play basketball is my new goal in life

 

How tall are we all in here

 

I could score a touchdown but I wouldn’t want to risk my body on however many plays it took to finally get a chance at a touchdown

 

I am not that fast that I can protect myself. I would need to be a lot bigger and the same speed to be able to handle it lol

 

Success metrics:

Baseball: making contact with a pitch in any way once
Football: getting tackled and not fumbling once
Basketball: probably making a basket(?), this one seems least unreasonable to do once by fluke
Hockey: receive a pass in a game once without falling over

 

Guys who are 5’11” 175-180 that can play well in the league are rare for a reason, and they’re usually speed demon WRs with mind blowing agility… which is the only way they survive cause they can consistently avoid getting hit at bad angles. There have been good corners my size but a lot of them get hurt (Jason Verrett for example)

 

Love this lol it’s all so true

 

Ban this piece of shit.

 

Jalen Hurts discourse is so fucking boring because so many people feel like they have a point to prove and cannot just accept the fact that it really is as simple of “He was not good/alright/whatever in 2021. If he is again, he is not the guy. If he improves, there’s a chance.”

The dude is making $1.6m this season. There is absolutely no rush to make declarative statements one way or the other. Like, who cares?

 

Also, ESP stinks.

 

Yeah, I'd say of all the ones...if you give me a hundred tries at each sport, I feel like my success rate would be highest for basketball (making a basket seems most reasonable), then probably a tie between making contact with a pitch and taking a tackle and not dying. If my life depended on me skating with a stick, controlling a puck, might as well kill me now.

And even then, truly best case scenario, my success rate is maybe 2-3%. Hell, me in my prime, I dont think my success rate would have been over 5%

 

6'3''

 

I could feasibly score 2 points in basketball or a touchdown on some kind of trick play 5 yards out and noone covers me but if on the off chance I hit a ball from a professional pitcher there’s no way I have the power to hit a home run. Hockey is more likely, they have empty netters

 

my claim to fame is that my intramural basketball team in college beat a team comprised of the Villanova football players

on that team was former Bengals legend Matt Sherry

 

5’7” babyyy

 

I could drain 3s in my prime

 

6'2"

 

This comes up all the time. Last time it was "I could return a serve from Venus Williams."

Anyone who's primary job involves a keyboard would fall over and die at the first attempt.