Thankfully, my mom has been really good about never asking or caring if I want to be in relationship or have kids cause I’m sure that shit can get real annoying. She also already has so many grandkids from my sisters so it’s not a big deal
My mom says I'm the last hope for having kids in the family since my brother and sister probably have reproductive issues. I want to be way more financially stable than I am now before I even think about it. If that means she's dead before I have a kid, sorry ma.
my mom gets mad/sad every time someone my sister went to school with has a kid or gets married, my dad realizes that it's me and my sister's choice and decision but my mom wants to be a grandma and not sure that will ever happen, my sisters are 23 and 29 it's still early
Wow, that is such a punch in the stomach. I'm not here to tell you want to do. I'll say that she (and everyone) reserves the right to change their mind on the subject. It sucks, but that's completely valid. That said, the fact that you're hesitant, in my opinion, is an indication of a few things: 1) fear of having kids 2) fear of losing her over this 3) you just don't want kids. Any of those are completely valid. As James said earlier, if she hadn't brought this up and last week everyone in here asked you if you wanted kids, would you be torn on yes or no? It is not selfish because it's a lifelong commitment. It's not selfish to want to live your life in the way that maximizes your happiness. For some, like some of the amazing people in this thread, kids are what does that. For others, kids would get in the way of that. I don't envy your position at all, Ken. It's got to be so god damn rough to have to have those conversations with her, but unfortunately, this is such a major issue and something both parties have to be on board with.
If you asked me a month ago, I’d tell you that I don’t want kids in the near future, and I’m not sure if I will ever want them. Maybe in 5 years or so, but I’m not certain I will ever come around to the idea. I always kind of pictured my future without them. I’m trying to evaluate my feelings as much as I can to see if I am wrong or if I will feel more into it when I’m older. I thought I was going to grow old with her, but I’m worried I will be unhappy if I force myself to have them or she will decide to leave me if I never come around.
Like, one the on hand, I’m sure that if you had a kid you would love and care for it, but that doesn’t mean you should force yourself into that position. It’s a shitty situation man, I’m sorry. Really the only thing you can do is talk about it and be as honest with each other as possible.
At this point, I’m just trying to make sense of my feelings and the whole situation before we have that conversation. Oh, and I needed to vent lol
I wouldn't rule out kids but at the thought of having one. Idk how people do it. I dedicate my life to kids but by the time I get home I want silence and sleep. I know so many mom's who say they feel guilty if they spend money or time on themselves instead of their kids and I'm like sry can't relate
I love kids so much and am so taken by a cute kid that sometimes the idea of parenting one sounds nice, but then I remember it's lifelong and like 24/7 and I noooope outta that idea. I have been entertaining the idea of being a parenting coach. Then I'd sorta helpish parent cute kids without the responsibility of it. But tbh watching people parent kinda drives me crazy 99% of the time.