Started talking to a girl on Tinder on Sunday. Ended up going to her place the following evening. We talked, kissed and cuddled a bit. Spent just over two hours there. She even invited me to her cross-fit class and her dancing class. The next day I asked if she'd like to meet again sometime... she texts back: "No thanks, I want a more dominant man". That's what little self-esteem I had left crushed again for the foreseeable future...
I hate how like... Heteronormative ppl are. We have a new employee and ppl keep comparing them to the coworker they replaced, who was rly bubbly and outgoing. I was defending their honor and just giving my "hey some of us are just shy and we take a while to come out of our shell and feel comfortable/confident" speech And then ppl are like ooooh are they single? Do they have a wedding ring?? do you like them?? Like stawp. Also on an unrelated note, man mad props to those with kids. I have spent my Saturday sleeping, going to the gym, and then going grocery shopping. I feel maxed out and am planning on doing approx nothing else today. #blessed I don't have a kid and can get away with being lazy.
Funny you mention that @Kiana because I usually sleep until 1-2 pm on Saturdays and while laying in bed or on the couch being lazy I tend to think, “my god, what are my co-workers / friends doing right now... soccer camp, birthday parties, visiting family, dealing with injuries, crying, fight or some other bullshit requirements with kids... oof”. I could never lol
You have a lot of options but the two main routes you can go down depend on a) if this person will still be in your life at all and / or if you want to try to have them in your life and b) the reason for the break up (if it’s because of something they’ve done or if it’s because you feel things have changed or are irreparable) With that said: 1) in person (maybe in public so no scene can be made) 2) via text if you don’t give a shit or if it’s been short lived / not very serious 3) ghost em if you wanna be an ass (but people around here will shame that answer) 4) don’t try to explain why, that never helps, just say “things have changed” or “I don’t feel the same as before” or something vague
Lol that’s honestly the worst. I’d rather someone just break up with me. I know this hasn’t helped and I’m sorry.
I'm not good with articulating my feelings and I'm not a romantic or tactful. I remember in hs this guy had a crush on me and I told him I didn't feel the same and he was like "oh okay well don't feel bad" and I was like "lol I don't?? We're in high school bud like you'll move on and forget I ever existed and be fine." My first bf I tried to break up with him in the park but then my mom got mad at me cause I hadn't done my chores so she picked me up. when I got home I did it over the phone. I rly wanted to just get it over with and had arbitrarily decided I needed to do it before warped tour. Awww, teen romance.
When I broke up with my ex I just sat her down on the couch and just told her feelings had changed and I wasn’t in love with her anymore and when she asked I told her that it isn’t one thing that she could’ve changed about our relationship to fix how I felt about it. It sucked. A lot. Then I went and had beers with friends and tried to talk through it with them. I’d originally told her I wanted to be friends but the farther out from the breakup I got, the less I thought of her or found value in her as a friend and we stopped talking after a small fight over text where she thought I had slighted her twice when we saw each other in public.
The thing that sucks is the relationship is great I just don't see myself settling down with them and thats what they want long term and I can't give them that.
Have you had serious conversation(s) about this where you both express yourselves fully? Or is it more of something that’s been simmering in the background?
Well, on the bright side, y’all haven’t been together too long so, while it might hurt, it could be a lot worse. It wouldn’t be fair to her to stick around if you don’t see it going anywhere and she does. I’d just be forward with her about that. Not that that’s easy, necessarily, but I think it’s the best route.
it sounds cliche but the spark just isn't there anymore, and if I'm saying this 4 months in I definitely shouldn't marry this person
they don't wanna get married till like YEARS and years down the road but I know it's not gonna lead to that so why waste their time
To be honest, this sounds kinda normal in a relationship. There's a certain point where you'll get freaked out and kinda overreact a bit and then realize it's not as bad as you thought. That's what happened with me at least.