All these posts recently about cutting ties and moving on from long-standing relationships have been really helpful, so thanks everyone for contributing. After being separated for 4 1/2 months and proceeding with the divorce, I'm feeling really, vulnerable, isolated, and lonely. I miss my best friend, but i know that it's not ever going to be the same. We both really hurt each other in the past; me much more so towards her. We also have a toddler together, so cutting ties isn't really an option. It's going to be really hard to figure out how to toe that line, but ultimately i know space is what is crucial. I'm still trying to hold on to the past and don't want to let her go, but it's the healthy thing to do. It will be better for all parties if i just keep working on myself and moving forward. Again, Thanks everyone. This was really what i needed to read/hear today
I don’t think I posted much “publicly” about it and don’t even remember if I posted anything at all. But seeing my ex treat the girl he’s dating now SO much better than me really hurts. Everything he didn’t want with me he does with her. He’s said things to her he never once said to me, not even close. It’s hard to take in that the person I thought I knew, someone who I thought was actually different, turned out to be the meanest most horrible person I ever met. Words can’t describe who he is because he’s that awful. I have completely lost trust even more. Although I’m over him, it’s hard to “move on” if that makes sense. I get flashbacks. Bad memories. It’s haunting. I can’t make them stop. Every horrible thing he said to me keeps replaying in my mind. Not sure if anyone has experienced something similar. I almost feel like finding a lifetime partner isn’t in the cards for me. That I was meant to be alone and suffer alone. That’s the hardest part. Knowing I have a lot of health issues that are going to require medical treatment and attention, I have no one. I’m tired of being lonely and having no one to talk to or do anything with. /rant
Felt weird liking this post but I totally get the feeling of being over someone but not being over what they did. I wish you well
Thanks. I actually was doing OK for a while. Just OK. But recently found out a bunch of shit, and it’s been really bothering me. It’s like I’m almost back to square one.
My bf lives a lil over an hour away. We both work a lot so I typically see him on weekends or every other weekend. I guess his friend from out of state broke up with his girlfriend of many years and is crashing at his apt until the 24th so he asked I not come up to see him until after. I haven't seen him since halloween and the week his friend leaves will be Thanksgiving weekend and the next weekend I'm on call and can't go out of town so it'll be over a month from when I saw him last. Im mad but idek how to articulate it. I honestly don't want to go up there when his friend is crashing there anyway but I'm just like.... Really? I get helping a friend thru a hard time but not seeing ur gf for over a month like okay. I want to communicate being bothered by this without being a bitch but all the responses I can think of are bitchy so I'm just not responding. If you have nothing nice to say and all.
Honestly I feel like I would go with the straightforward "I feel hurt by this because x, y, and z" approach, rather than going on the offensive, but you've probably already thought of that, so other than that, thats an annoying situation and I'm sorry you're going through it!
This would have been the smart route. Instead I was a lil bit of a PMS-fueled mess but I think we worked it out lol
I totally freaked him out and he thought I was breaking up with him and I'm pretty sure he thinks I'm crazy but yeah it ended up fine. As I get older I cry easier, especially when I'm on my period, so I'm gonna have to give a hot mess disclaimer or something
Was debating asking this in this thread or the sex thread for obvious reasons but....what are people planning to do for a Valentines Day weekend in? We're going all in on a weekend of getting frisky I think. Various outfit items have been ordered. We've had a tradition of going to eat in some historic place or restaurant so this is our substitute this year lol
Do you guys have any ideas? Her birthday is the week before so I already planned a lot for that. We're 20, college sophomores, NYC.
I enjoy something low-key. I bought a mini heart shaped waffle maker so I wanna do waffles and I saved a tiktok telling me how to cut strawberries into heart shapes that I may attempt for said waffles. Other than that going on a nice walk or doing takeout and movies sounds ideal
I wasn't lying about the ordering of outfits, though it's not all purely "like that". For example, since we're making a weekend out of it, one of the days we're doing an "80's theme" and dressing up like the 80's for most of the day/night and listening to 80s music and etc. Like, all out 80's. Wigs, cropped jean jackets, fishnets, lace fingerless gloves, the whole nine. Basically having an 80s party for ourselves lol. And yes some of that will be part of sexy time at night I'm sure so that's kind of exciting to think about, but in general we're just trying to have a good time since we have a long weekend with Presidents Day. You guys are still young so I will say, as someone who's been with my wife since we were 19 and 21 respectively, communicate about what you're comfortable with "in the bedroom" and then use Valentines Day to go for it and see how it goes. We didn't start doing the lingere thing until a few years into our relationship and we both were like 'why didn't we do this sooner" lol
Oh there are no fun activities the pandemic has crushed all hope and fun lmao...though you are in NYC so maybe there is something fun there outside to do. But we’ve been super careful so we’ve tended to avoid outdoors crowds too. That’s why we’re getting drunk and dressing up like a decade we didn’t grow up in lol. All the stuff we’d normally do for Vday here just doesn’t feel safe sadly. Our favorite historic restaurant in Philly closed down permanently due to the pandemic unfortunately
We're both dorming so the real "fun activities" are difficult since we can't go into each other's dorms for COVID reasons (although she does sneak into mine sometimes).