Discussion in 'General Forum' started by dylan, May 12, 2019.
"sigh I'm back on the apps"
This is me. I say “I give up” because I just facepalm at nearly every profile (it truely is that bad where I live), but then I think to myself “maybe someone new will be on”
Guess how’s that going for me lol
I think you’re right, but I really don’t remember.
Also, I’m sure this has been addressed ad nauseum before, but what’s the acceptable protocol on messaging non responsive matches? A girl messaged me the other day on bumble and we had a few long, fun exchanges before she disappeared (after I responded to several questions she asked, and I asked more in turn). That was almost a week ago, and I’ve sent 2 quick and light hearted follow ups since. I feel like I’ve exhausted my double texting but I hate the thought of missing out on what I thought was a promising start If she’s the type that just doesn’t check messages often or doesn’t have notifications. Is an IG follow down the line excessive? Call it a loss?
I wonder the same thing! I don’t want to feel like I’m bothering the person by double messaging. I matched with a guy on tinder and I want to get to know more. He answers one “intro” question but hasn’t responded since. Idk if he’s one of those that gets to messages later, then forgets/doesn’t check or get notifications? Another guy on tinder stopped responding.
Yea, I have no idea. I don’t get a lot matches either so when I get one I really like a lot I panic haha. What do you think about the IG point? I’m sure girls especially get bombarded so I get how a precedent of approaching on IG or something for example can be excessive, but idk I mean we all know everybody searches for everybody, if she’s just not into it and doesn’t respond I understand, but I think the preconception that doing it itself is creepy is misguided.
My IG is private and I only really ever post photos of my cat. So I’m not sure. Maybe message again? Depending how long you two have been chatting be straight forward- tell them if they’re not interested than it’s ok?
Wasn’t long lol I was just super optimistic given how energetic and inquisitive she was in the opening exchanges. I’ll just see what happens in the coming days.
I personally would call it a loss.
I did something. I swiped right (on tinder) on some guy I met maybe 5 years ago at a party. He’s friends with my friends cousin. If we match I hope he doesn’t remember me. I got pretty drunk that night. I did try to flirt with him and kinda embarrassed.
My bf has the AUDACITY to get a life now and it's v boring for me. I'm glad he's pursuing hobbies and is talking to his friends more and is getting more hours at work, but as a loser with no hobbies and no friends, I'm like oh. Guess I'll just DO NOTHING. Which I'm good at anyway!!
I'm 95% sure I'm getting ghosted, and I had a very vivid dream last night about my relationship ending, so I'd say this week is off to a great start
Matched with the guy I met several years ago at a party. Hope he doesn’t remember me. He’s a “stoner” so probs won’t be a good date match, but seems cool as a friend. Downside, when I met him idk if he found me attractive so I don’t want it to be awkward.
My girlfriend watches a lot of videos of people eating and I find it entirely uncomfortable.
I haven’t really tried to message anyone lately
Record yourself eating for her
This is a really good idea
I feel the same, and it's really getting me, like I spend hours in a day thinking why am I not meeting or talking to anyone. My dad even asked me why I haven't been on a dates for a while, and I didn't know what else to say to him other than that I have been trying, but I've had no luck. For instance, and this might sound cringe, but I super like girls who I'd be into on Tinder so they'd notice me, Otherwise I feel like I just get ignored. I'm probably over thinking this, but it's been on my mind a lot lately. Can anyone else relate?
Yeah I’m still swiping and messaging people here and there but I’m not going to be comfortable actually trying to date until it’s safe to if we ever get to that point
In sort of a casual thing right now. First person I’ve been with since my wife and I separated, which means it’s the first new person I’ve been with in over 11 years. Prettttyyyyyy wild and it feels super strange.
Had a 7 year long relationship end in January. Together from ages 17-25, and I really thought she was the one. For a while it seemed like there might be hope we would get back together down the line, but as time went on it became clear that was less and less likely.
She said when we broke up she wanted to stay good friends if I was interested. We were trying that for about 9 months, but it was really taking its toll on me. She would say that she wanted to meet up and hike or get lunch, but when planning a date and time would be unresponsive and ultimately unavailable. I tried for a long time because she’s a special person and very important to me. But eventually I felt like I was basically begging her to hangout with me, and even then, it never seemed to happen.
I finally reached a point where I decided I needed to have a direct conversation with her about it. I’d brought it up more lightly previously but it didn’t change anything. So we talked tonight and over the course of the call, it became clear we can’t be connected right now. She feels conflicted and is struggling with our interactions feeling too close to when we were in a relationship. I’ve struggled with the same thing, but was trying to work through it. Additionally, though, she’s been seeing someone new for the past 8 months, which I had no idea about. And she feels like our connection is too close for it to be fair to her new partner.
I just wish she had been more upfront with me when I gave her opportunities earlier on to do so. I could tell something was up by her actions, but when i would ask her about it, she was always adamant about keeping our friendship. But now I know she was conflicted the whole time.
It’s going to be really hard for me to not have her in my life anymore. We shared so many amazing times together during our formative years. But I think my depression took its toll on the relationship, especially towards the end. But I know that the way our friendship was going, I didn’t have any other option but to cut ties. Hoping to get through this with the help of my friends...maybe I can even meet some new people (socially-distanced).
Yes, you 100% have to cut ties. Unfortunately it’s the only way to move on. She should’ve came forward and said that she was with someone else early on because it would have been easier for you to do that.
I know everyone approaches these things differently, and there’s no wrong way to do it, but the idea of entering a new relationship only a month after ending a seven year relationship is absolutely insane to me.
also yeah cutting ties is 100% the right move
Yeahhhh. The same thing happened to me in the same timeframe too, about 17-25. Then immediately was with my best friend so, one could conclude, that that was prolly goin on for a while. She never had to actually endure a real breakup cause she just seemlessly transitioned into a new relationship with someone she had known for the same amount of time. Weird as hell. They’re engaged now so good for them.
My ex wife did that too, it always baffles me. But I take reassurance in that she's the type of person that can't be alone, and has a codependency personality. So while it bothered me, I was okay that I took the time to sort myself out, and I think in the long run I'm better for it.