I usually say something like “Do you wanna get drinks sometime? Also what’s your ring size?” The classic double whammy.
yes i have this problem where I am paranoid about being declined and just a whole bunch of stuff which has led to bad mental health problems
I ran into the girl I had my longest / most significant relationship with today during lunch and it wasn’t super awkward as fuck, but it was eye opening. she always said she wanted a huge family, and I don’t ever ever ever ever ever want kids (this was before I made that a reality), so that was what ended us more than anything else so we left on good(ish) terms. so when I saw her today I saw that she, at age 31, has SIX DAUGHTERS. The youngest is about 9 months old, oldest is like 8. I spent part of the afternoon playing “what if” in my mind and realized that if she talked me into having kids that could be me stuck with six goddamn kids at my 32nd birthday, leading an entirely different life constantly surrounded by noise and childhood and other things that sound awful to me. thank the lord I don’t believe in that I said no to changing my mind and ending things way back when. Also made me very happy and appreciative of my life even more than I already am.
Man. I haven’t seen experienced this with past relationships but I do look at my high school friendships and I’m like WOW I am so glad I don’t have kids rn haha