‘Ryan Adams Dangled Success. Women Say They Paid a Price.’ • Page 5

I feel as though the writing was always on the wall for this narcissistic p.o.s.

Heartbreaking to read that Mandy was discouraged from continuing her music career because he was mentally abusive and told her she wasn’t as talented as him.

Repulsive to read his sarcastic “R. Kelly” comment to the 14 year old girl he was grooming.

Good. Riddance.

 

I’m just going to casually interject that the easiest way to not get offended by “men are trash” is to be absolutely confident that you yourself, as a man, are in fact not trash.

Don’t be a shitty dude and you’re not included in the aforementioned trash. If the proverbial shit sneaker fits, however, well...you might be a garbage human.

 

Let historically-oppressed groups use hyperbole if cathartic and let historically-privileged groups who commit abuse through their relative station see themselves out the fucking door.

 

I’m imagining a venn diagram of dudes who say “not all men” and “all lives matter.”

 

came into this thread and....



one of these days women will be able to pursue a dream of making their art without some shitty men leveraging their potential career for sex. fuck.

 

I’m just so fucking angry. It’s so disappointing to me that from bottom to top the music industry is full of scum bag men and the thing people are most worried about is having to be critical of their relationship to an artist. No woman is safe- it could be something as small as all the dudes who stopped talking to me about music and feminism when they realized I wasn’t sexually available, to all the teenage girls preyed on at warped, all the way up to Taylor fucking Swift being groped by a nobody radio DJ. It’s a systematic problem that you are feeding into every time you give a man a pass because you love his art.

I said this in the accountability thread, but there are 7 billion people on this planet. There are enough musicians that you could build an entire catalogue of music with no compromise or qualification. You could choose to take the smallest of stands and divorce yourself from the men who abuse women and silence their art. I truly don’t understand why the burden is constantly on women to not only expose the truth but uphold the moral standard, especially when the comment I see most often in threads where men y’all DON’T like get exposed is “so sad how many women still support him.”

There will be other top 5 songs for you. There will be a million more mediocre white men with guitars trying to tell you what an asshole they are. But not all of them will try to ruin the women in their lives to maintain some sick power play fantasy. Certainly not all of them will engage in sexual behavior with teenage girls. We are tired of explaining this over and over again. If you absolutely can’t live without this piece of shit and his music, listen in private. Struggle with your feelings on it with your fellow men in private. The focus of this conversation needs to be “how can we protect girls from and industry that condones and uplifts men who behave this way.” If you are so sad about Summer of 69 being ruined forever that you can’t broach that yet, please just read and listen and talk to your friends in private.

The music industry has always centered the lives and feelings of men. Take a step back to realize that taking this story and making it about that is feeding into the same system that keeps us constantly struggling and putting the wrong people in positions of power.

 

AMAB

 

Said Craig, probably a POS

 

Read the room

 

I didn't know fully about the extent of their relationship, but assumed some of Bridgers songs were about Adams. Fuck him. Also, "not all men" is such a shitty defense. Stop making situations about yourselves, don't be shitty.

 

I’m literally heartbroken.

 

Well written - I agree with what you've said.

But, you've got the wrong guy. You're referencing Bryan Adams (Summer of 69). This article is about Ryan Adams - just wanted to inform you so you guide your hate in the right direction.

 

Ugh, a great musician who is also a total piece of garbage. I am thankful these women were given the space to come forward with their stories.

Now, I’d be interested in hearing Jenny Lewis, one of my favorite artists, share about her time working with him on her last two albums.

 

Sorry, a poorly made joke at the expense of people blindly defending him bc people always tell Ryan Adams to play this song- thank you though.

 

Didn't know. Never liked Ryan Adams. Now I really don't like Ryan Adams.

 

Is this...a serious statement? I can't even put into words how horrifically shitty it is to say something like that. We're not talking about a negative Pitchfork review or some other form of bad luck or bad circumstance that happened to an artist you enjoy. We're not even talking about something that "happened" to Ryan Adams at all. He happened to other people, and his actions are completely his responsibility. To say you wish this story had come out about another artist so you could still listen to Ryan's "5/5 songs" without feeling bad about it is...really not great.

 

PSA: If you look at the discourse surrounding Ryan Adams and your first response is hashtag NotAllMen or whatever then there's a good chance the shoe fits. Don't be this sort of person. It's not hard.

 

I hope the support these women receive can help them heal and maybe create art again.

 

Wow this sucks.

 

Yeah, well that's why I started looking into it yesterday because I knew parts of it were about him but I thought the relationship stuff was about Marshall Vore, so I didn't get the context. It was just weird timing since I spent over an hour yesterday digging into that situation. It seemed like he wrote a song about her too which Motion Sickness is a response to. I was reading a page from a girl that was interested in understanding the situation and she said she saw Phoebe live and as Motion Sickness started she stated: "This song is about a boy I don't give a fuck about anymore. It's about Ryan Adams."

 

Fucking gross.

 

The second I hear about one of my favorites being a massive piece of shit, I cut em off from my future listening. Removal from music library, playlists etc...don't wanna hear em and my personal morals require me to cope this way. Had a brand new song pop up the other day, and I couldn't skip it fast enough.

 

My wife sent me a text about it while I was walking home from the gym last night. I stopped for a second and thought "I'm not surprised." I know she's super bummed about the women more than the idea of how can I still be a fan?
People will always defend someone. It's how folks are wired. Sometimes it's just denial or a painless feeling since it didn't happen to them.
Stop saying not all men. Seriously.
(Also, why would someone wish that this "happened" to an artist with a similar name? Dumb and childish)

 

Swing and a miss.

 

Just reread this and I think it's relevant:

Where the Girls Aren't - Rookie