Discussion in 'Article Discussion' started by Melody Bot, Apr 12, 2016.
Just wanted to pop in here and say - you nailed it.
Internalized misogyny is a very, very real thing and suffice it to say that self-hate (which commonly manifests itself as not seeing misogyny in everyday life as a problem) is literally taught to young girls almost from day one. Very few social groups are demonized and belittled the way teenage girls are, so it's easy to overlook or even enjoy when a guy in a prominent band does it because it's what you're used to. It's normalized. Hope this helps.
It actually really does, thanks for this. That honestly makes me wonder if counseling shouldn't be provided on both sides. By this I mean should the scene find some success getting through to guys like Parker that would be great, but that internalized misogynistic belief will still be in his teenage female fans. Helping a guy like Parker to understand his faults is only part of the problem if these belief are already manifested inside of his female audience. I understand this is a societal issue as a whole and at that point you are no longer simply taking on the scene, but a worldview on women as a whole. To be honest I almost think getting through to young female fans is more important as it comes down to what is more important, how somebody else views you or how you view yourself. (This isn't intended to be victim blaming in any way, just trying to look at this from all angles)
That's why it's tricky. Yes, internalized misogyny needs to be addressed - but that's an issue that women need to handle internally. Since it's a symptom of the problem, and not the actual problem, it isn't something that the scene itself needs to address. I hope that makes sense. Men telling women not to internalize misogyny is an inherently problematic concept and not one the world needs.
More to the point - by publicly and consistently dealing with dudes like Parker, we send the message that this behavior isn't okay. I'm not going to spend time further telling a teenage girl that something she's been conditioned to see as okay means there's something wrong with her. Misogyny isn't her problem to fix. By setting the example, I firmly believe these girls will get there on their own, given time and support. I did.
Teaching girls to love themselves is important work that needs to be done. But it won't end misogyny - only men can do that. THAT'S the problem.
Honestly, thanks for having this conversation with me. Threads like this can be so much more beneficial with this kind of dialog as opposed to the simple "shitty dudes making shitty music" comments
You're welcome. That's why I'm here.